TOP FIVE THANKSGIVING TRADITIONS WE WISH WOULD GO AWAY

  1. "Having the Butterball Help Line on speed dial"
  2. "Shoot, forgot to take off the feathers again this year"
  3. "No, those aren't meatballs -- the gravy's just a little lumpy"
  4. Uncle Earl saying, "Whoops! It must have been the tripto-fart"
  5. Trying to explain the dried-out bird by saying, "Oh, we're having turkey jerky this year"

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