WORST THINGS TO SAY BEFORE, DURING OR AFTER SEX

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(Men's Health) What the below-average guys say to stay that way.

  • "I know we'd get together when I saw you through my binoculars."
  • "I can't believe you're an accountant."
  • "It's amazing how different they looked under your sweater."
  • "No, I love your stuffed animals. They're really absorbent."
  • "Don't mind Rex. It's his bed, too! Isn't it, good buddy? Yeah, that's my boy! What's that?
  • "I find that if I have Ted Koppel on, I last longer. Just knowing he's there."
  • "You're okay with the whole webcam thing, right?"
  • "Behold! The light saber!"
  • "You know, from this angle, you could be just about anyone."
  • "Why don't you put on these goggles?"
  • "I wasn't laughing. That was a snort of astonishment."
  • "Found it! I think..."
  • "Your skin is so soft and firm, it feels like cheese."
  • "I thought the church lifted the ban on that in Vatican II..."
  • "Keep making that face. Just move back into camera range."
  • "Time? Yeah, it was great. A personal best."
  • "There's no such thing as bad sex. Or so I've heard."
  • "I told you I could finish before the commercial ended."
  • "Are you my best lover ever? In the continental U.S., definitely

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