17th Annual Memorial Scholarship Golf Tournament

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

REASONS IT'S GREAT TO BE A WOMAN

This ought to give you hours worth of phone calls: 

  • When a ship sinks, women (and children) get off first. 
  • A woman can hug her best friend without worrying she'll think she's gay. 
  • Women can talk to attractive members of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. 
  • If a woman cheats on her spouse everyone will assume it's because she was being emotionally neglected. 
  • Women live longer than men. 
  • If a woman inexplicably disappears for two weeks, one of her friends will notice. 
  • There are times when a woman can make all her problems disappear with a piece of chocolate. 
  • A woman can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. 
  • A woman can take a drive without trying to beat her best time. 
  • If a woman forgets to shave, no-one has to know. 
  • Women are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex or football. 
  • Women never lust after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game. 
  • Women can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 
  • Women can cry and get off a speeding ticket. 
  • A woman can congratulate her team-mate without ever touching her rear. 
  • If a woman says something stupid, most men will just think she's cute. 
  • If a woman cries, she's sensitive; if a man cries, he's a wimp. 
  • Women know who their children are without having a DNA test. 
  • Women can watch one TV channel at a time without getting bored. 
  • A woman won't drive to Hell and back before she asks for directions. 



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