COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN

No wonder men and women can't communicate. They speak different languages: 

  • Doohickey (doo-hick-ee): Female: Any part under a car's hood. Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra 
  • Vulnerable (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male: Playing football without a cup. 
  • Communication (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male: Sending a text before taking off for a weekend with the boys. 
  • Commitment (ko-mit-ment) n. Female: A desire to get married and raise a family. Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend. 
  • Wants and needs (wontz and nedz) n. Female: The delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship. Male: Food, sex and beer. 
  • Glass ceiling (glas see-ling) n. Female: The invisible barrier that stops women from rising to the upper levels in business. Male: What would really be great at work since that hot babe took over the office one flight up. 
  • Entertainment (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female: A good movie, concert, play or book. Male: Anything with one ball, two folds, or three stooges. 
  • Flatulence (flach-u-lens) n. Female: An embarrassing by product of digestion. Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding. 
  • Making love (may-king luv) n. Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve. Male: What men have to call "boinking" to get women to boink. 
  • Remote control (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male: A device for scanning through all 999 channels every 2 1/2 minutes. 
  • Taste (tayst) v. Female: Something you do frequently to whatever you're cooking, to make sure it's good. Male: Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Fall Book Discussion and Movie Series

Book discussion group to meet

City Page Survey