Wednesday, August 16, 2017

ON THIS DAY

On this date in 1777, American troops defeated the British at Bennington, Vermont. The score was tied at regulation and the Americans won in a shoot-out.

It was on this date in the year 1812 that Detroit fell to the British and Indians in the War of 1812.
If you have to have a war, best to keep it to a year so you can give it a simple name.
Yes, at one time, we could have said, "OK, all yours!"

On this date in 1829, the original Siamese twins -- Chang and Eng Bunker -- arrived in the United States. Not surprising, whenever they went out to eat, they always asked for separated checks. They weren't much into family reunions... since they had one every day.

Edith Roosevelt, Teddy's wife, was born in 1861. She also spoke softly, but carried an even bigger stick than Teddy.

On this date in 1875, a locust swarm, estimated at 12 trillion, passes through Nebraska.
  • Needless to say, that was not the summer for company picnics. 
  • The legislature passed a law immediately, making it illegal to say the joke, "Boy it's swarm outside!" 
  • They would have stayed, but there was nothing to do. (Funny in 49 out of 50 states.) 
  • Sadly, none of them brought along sack lunches. 
In 1954, the very first Sports Illustrated was published.
  • Unfortunately, just missed the swimsuit issue by several months. 
  • Up until that time, "Swimsuit issue" meant you had a hole in the back of your suit. 
  • Up until that time, a Swimsuit Issue was another way of saying "wardrobe malfunction." 
  • Remember, without Sports Illustrated, there would be no Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. 

Elvis Presley died of heart failure in Memphis, TN, in 1977. He was only 42. Since that time, there have been thousands of supposed sightings of the King. Here are the "Top 5 Signs Elvis Is Really Dead":
  • No longer a shortage of bananas or peanut butter at the local Memphis grocery stores. 
  • You just don't see flashy white diamond studded jump suits at J.C. Penney's anymore. 
  • Pharmacies no longer running low on Percodan and Dristan. 
  • Pink Cadillac salesman filed bankruptcy years ago. 
  • Four words once spoken: Lisa Marie Presley Jackson 
Elvis' amazing climb from the humblest of beginnings to rock & roll immortality reached its first major plateau on January 27, 1956, with the release of "Heartbreak Hotel," his debut single on the RCA label. The first of 17 number 1 hits, "Heartbreak" held down the top spot for eight weeks, firmly establishing the man from Memphis, TN, as a national phenomenon. His hip-swiveling performances on ta series of '50s TV variety shows -- including Ed Sullivan's -- didn't hurt either, generating both hysteria and intense media coverage, and captivating a vast audience of rebellious, record-buying teens. By the time Elvis had sung his last note 21 years later, he held records for the most Top 40 hits (107), the most Top 10 hits (38), the most consecutive number 1 hits (10) and the most weeks at number 1 (80).




TODAY IS

Rap singer Young Thug turns 26 today. I wonder if eventually he'll change his name to Old Thug?

Emily Robison of the Dixie Chicks is complaining about her 45th birthday today.

Steve Carell is 55 today and no longer works at the Office. I'll bet the reason he still looks so young is that he waited until 40 to... well, you know.

Madonna turns 59 today, almost twice the age of her boy toys.
She used to be married to some director Guy named Ritchie... but I could never remember his first name.
By the way, what do you get for a girl who's had everyone?
You can tell the years are starting to catch up with her. At her last concert, she was wearing a support bustier.
Truthfully, the Material Girl should consider wearing more material.

James Cameron, who gave us "Aliens," "Titanic" and the "Terminator" movies, turns 63 today. He should combine all three of those and make a movie called, the Talienator. (TAY-lee-uh-naytor) It could be about a robotic Taylor Swift that seeks revenge on groping disc jockeys.

Kathie Lee Gifford turns 64 today. Becoming a successful daytime TV talk show host has been a long Hoda Road.

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