Wednesday, August 30, 2017

ON THIS DAY

On this date in 30 BC, Egypt's Cleopatra committed suicide by allowing an asp to bite her.
Yes, he was such an asp. It bit her on her asp... while playing the game, "You bet your asp."
I'm a little rusty on my ancient history but I believe she killed herself because Marc Anthony left her for J-Lo.

In 1645, Dutch settlers and American Indians signed a treaty of peace at New Amsterdam, New York.
It was known as the Fuggetaboutit Treaty.
The Indians agreed to allow the Dutch to settle in New York, as long as they didn't allow skyscrapers and the New York Yankees. Well, we know how well that worked.

On this date in 1780, Benedict Arnold became a traitor after declaring himself a free agent.

In 1797, author Mary Shelley was born. She wrote "Frankenstein," but he never wrote her back.

On this date in 1901, Hubert Cecil Booth patented the vacuum cleaner.
Oh, wait. No, he vacuumed the patent cleaner. Well, that's not really a big deal. Never mind.
Up until then, no one had any way to clean a vacuum.
Yep, at that time, door-to-door salesmen just knocked on doors but had nothing to sell.

In 1916 that Turkey declared war on Russia. Surprising, since it was the United States that celebrated Thanksgiving.

The Japan Stationary Company sold the very first felt tip pen on this date in 1960. Of course, it left a permanent marker on the pen industry.

On this date in 1979, the first recorded comet ever to hit the sun. They had hit it before, but we weren't able to record it since we hadn't figured out how to run the stupid DVR.

In 1983, the "Three Stooges" received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Everyone in attendance received a commemorative finger poke in the eyes. Some felt they didn't deserve one. Others felt they soitenly did. Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.



TODAY IS

Tennis player Andy Roddick turns 35 today. One of the few people in the world whose name rhymes with neurotic.

Lisa Ling turns 44 today. She was on "The View" years ago. To give you an idea how long ago it was, that was back when they talked one at a time.

Cameron Diaz is 45 today. They say Cameron is an agnostic, which I don't know if I believe, so we have something in common. She may be a funny actress, but her "Something About Mary" hair products aren't very good. For all she's done, I still think of her as Fiona in "Shrek."

Actor Timothy Bottoms turns 66 today. Even though he's not working much these days, he's still an early riser. In fact, I'll bet you anything that right now, Bottoms' up!

Peggy Lipton, years ago in TV's "Mod Squad" and once married to Quincy Jones, turns 71 today.

Warren Buffett is 87 today. Or, Uncle Warren, as I hope to one day prove in court. (I'm going to keep at that until he believes me.) What do you get for a guy who not only owns everything, but he also owns everything that makes everything?

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