THE NEGATIVE IMPACT OF SECRETS

(Psychology Today) This may stem from the way secrets lurk in our minds. Keeping a secret sometimes requires deliberate acts of deception, like diverting attention midway through a sensitive conversation or striking certain details from a story about what you did last night. But new research suggests that it is a secret's quiet nagging at us, not the act of concealing it, that helps explain why secret keeping is associated with outcomes such as anxiety and poor physical health. In a series of studies, researchers at Columbia University found that, on average, the more frequently people said their minds wandered to the secrets they kept, the greater the negative impact they reported the secrets having on their well-being and the lower their ratings of life satisfaction. The decline in well-being tied to carrying secrets was in turn associated with lower self-ratings on a physical health survey. What did not seem to matter was how often secrets were actively hidden. "The more you think about this thing that you're holding back, the more you feel disingenuous and inauthentic," explains psychologist Michael Slepian, who led the investigation. The findings support the idea that "those feelings of inauthenticity lower relationship quality and satisfaction with life," he says. Writing about a heavy secret or discussing it with someone could help, Slepian suggests: "In this day and age, you can reveal your secret anonymously online." Slepain and colleagues also catalogued the types of secrets kept by hundreds of people, as well as whom they were kept from, here's what they found:

Extra-relational thoughts
55 percent kept this secret from everyone and 25 percent of people kept this secret from some people.

Sexual behavior
50 percent kept this secret from everyone and 40 percent of people kept this secret form some people.

Ambition or plan
35 percent kept this secret from everyone and 45 percent of people kept this secret from some people.

Sexual infidelity
35 percent kept this secret from everyone and 30 percent of people kept this secret from some people.

Lying
30 percent kept this secret from everyone and 40 percent of people kept this secret from some people.

Personal finances
55 percent kept this secret from everyone and 25 percent of people kept this secret from some people.

Non-Drug habit
25 percent kept this secret from everyone and 30 percent of people kept this secret from some people.

Sexual or gender identity
45 percent kept this secret from everyone and 20 percent of people kept this secret from some people.

Mental health issue
20 percent kept this secret from everyone and 45 percent of people kept this secret from some people.

Belief or Ideology
15 percent kept this secret from everyone and 50 percent of people kept this secret from some people.