Tuesday, November 28, 2017

THINK BEFORE YOU POST

(Men's Health) Discuss with your partner what should be shared. Then follow these rules:

Use it long-distance

Using social platforms can help maintain bonds, even when you're a continent away from each other. "Social media facilitates connectiveness," says Rebecca Hayes, Ph.D., who teaches communications at Illinois State University. Don't forget saucy uses of Snapchat.

Decide about exes

Online contact with former lovers puts sand in the gears of your current relationship. Have a chat about how much contact is too much. Maybe it's a total ban, but "if you say you're not going to be bothered by exes, then don't be bothered by exes," says Hayes.

Don't dig too deep

This may feel irresistible. But diving down the rabbit hole of her online history can breed jealousy. Keep discoveries in context, says Caleb Carr, Ph.D., of Illinois State University: "Don't take it as a competition." Upside: It could provide nuggets on what she likes.

Just click the heart -- or the thumb

"Like" all her stuff. This is easy and important, says Hayes, whose main research is one-click social interaction. "If that 'like' is not received from people you expect it from, particularly in regard to romantic relationships, that causes problems," she says.

Follow her friends

Be sure to show a good social side. Her friends will come to know you online, maybe before meeting you and we know that the friends' opinions of you can affect your relationship, Carr says. "If they think you're fantastic, they're going to tell her, "This is a great person.'"

Post the positive stuff

Congratulate her on the promotion if you know it's not something she'll want to keep private; public praise may give you both a boost, says Hayes. Weird effect: You may feel better about the posting than she does, since you're the one seeing and receiving the "likes."

Don't buy the overhype

You've seen the jumping-kissing photos. Comparing your relationship to unrealistic versions of your friends' relationships could set you up for disappointment, says Carr, especially if you're already bummed. Real life can't maintain that kind of perfection.

Try not to go there

This is an old as Zuckerberg's Harvard hoodie. Passively checking out former crushes of Facebook or imagining them as, ahem, "viable relational partners," as Carr puts it, should set off alarm bells about your current relationship. Try to keep those impulses in check.

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