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Thursday, March 15, 2018

ON THIS DAY

It's the Ides of March. It was on this date back in 44 B.C. that Julius Caesar walked into a surprise going away party. Caesar was stabbed by various members of the Senate, including his good friend Brutus, as well as his other friends, Donaldus and Trumpicus.
  • "Forced retirement" was very different back then. 
  • If you have lunch today with a senator and he orders the Caesar Salad, don't be surprised if he stabs it. 
  • Today we know the Ides of March as the band that did "Vehicle." 
  • Beware! Especially watch out for guys wearing togas and carrying knives. 

It was on this date in 1493 that Christopher Columbus returned from his first trip to the New World.
  • By this time, Native Americans had coined the phrase, "Well, there goes the neighborhood!" 
  • Strangely enough, three pieces of luggage accidentally wound up in Dusseldorf. 
  • He brought back trinkets and a box of candy for the Queen from Betty White. 
Our country's 7th president, Andrew Jackson, was born in 1767. He was known to be quite a womanizer who always had several mistresses at a time. However, we don't know very much about his wife, Hillary Jackson.

On this date in 1892, New York introduced the voting machine, known as the Automatic Ballot Cabinet, or whatever that is in Russian.

In 1892, the very first escalator was patented by Jesse Reno.
  • As an inventor, there was nowhere to go but up. 
  • Of course, being new, the first time it broke down and stopped, people were stuck for hours. But just the dumb ones. 
  • Suddenly, the inventor saw himself going places. Mostly, up a floor... then back down a floor. 

On this date in 1906 that Britten Rolls and Royce Johnson created the Rolls Royce company. It wouldn't be for 70 years that they would have their only hit, "Car Wash." I think it was those two.

In 1937, the very first blood bank opened. They were kind of creeped out when Hannibal Lector came in and joined the Christmas Club. A lot of people were interested, but it turned out that when it came to new businesses, a blood bank just wasn't their type.

On the very same day in 1937, the very first contraceptive clinic opened up in Raleigh, North Carolina. (pause) Thought I'd just insert that pregnant pause for the irony of it all.

TODAY IS

It is the Ides of March. I only have Ides for you.

will.i.am turns 43 today. If you're looking for the perfect gift, get him at least one capital letter.

Eva Longoria is 43 today and will soon be a first-time mom. She's in the process of going from "Desperate Housewife" to desperate actress.

Brett Michaels is still alive and turns 55 today. Go figure.

For years, he was the long-haired hunk that appeared on all the romance novels. Today, Fabio is 59 and only appears on the large print editions.

Renny Harlin turns 59 today. He directed "Die Hard II" and is Geena Davis' ex-husband, so she'd probably tell you the same thing.

Mike Love of the Beach Boys is 77. All you need is Mike.

Judd Hirsch is still rolling along and turns 83 today.

Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg, or as the guys on the Supreme Court like to call it, "the youngster," turns 85 today.

Peanut Lover's Day -- the average child will eat 1,500 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches before he or she graduates high school. Peanut butter has been popular since the early 1900s, but no one knows who invented it. Today, it is an $800 million industry dominated by household names such as Jif, Skippy, and Peter Pan.

The average American eats 3.36 pounds of peanut butter each year and that's a good thing because it can help you lose weight. Wait a minute, that can't be right can it? A high-calorie, starchy sandwich spread can help us lose weight? Yes, it can. That's the not-so-nutty word from researchers at Purdue University is that peanuts and peanut products cut the appetite. "The high protein and fiber content in peanuts may play an important role in curbing hunger and thereby not promoting weight gain," says Dr. Richard Mattes.

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