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Tuesday, March 20, 2018

ON THIS DAY

On this date in 1616, Sir Walter Raleigh was released from the Tower of London.
  • I'm no history expert, but I believe that was an attraction at Disneyland: London. 
  • After getting everyone hooked on cigarettes. 
  • Ironically, the Tower was non-smoking. 
  • Oh, sure, let the guy who introduced us to cigarettes, walk. 

In 1815, Napoleon entered Paris. I think I've seen that video on the Internet.

On this date in 1885, John Matzeliger patented the shoe lacing machine.
  • Ironically, because he was such a loafer. 
  • Because, heaven forbid, we'd have to bend over and lace our own shoes. 
  • It was for those who can't reach there anymore. 
  • It was for the truly lazy person who has everything. 
  • How lazy can you get? Besides, may I say the word, "loafers?" 
In 1899, a woman was executed in an electric chair for the very first time. It was like getting a permanent perm.

It was on this date in 1942 that General Douglas MacArthur vowed, "I shall return." Seemed a little over dramatic, just to go to the restroom, but he did return.

On this date in 1963, the very first "Pop Art" exhibition took place in New York City. Soon, there was a cry for equal treatment and a Mom Art exhibit went up.

In 1988, an airplane flying over Shoreline Park in Mountain View, CA, caught the kite string of 8-year-old DeAndra Anrig, lifting her 10 feet in the air and carrying her 100 feet before she let go. That would be a great "where are they now?" story. My guess is, NOT flying a kite.



TODAY IS

Spring arrives today at 12:15pm EDT.

Bathing suit model turned furniture salesperson Kathy Ireland turns 55 today. She Missed a St. Patrick's birthday by 3 days. How perfect would that have been? When I say, "Some day, I'd like to visit Ireland," that's who I'm referring to.

Actress Holly Hunter turns the big 6-0 today. She's at the stage of being an actress where the best jobs are on TNT.

Spike Lee is 61 today. He's the guy in those credit card commercials. He plans an enjoyable night courtside at Madison Square Garden because the Knicks are out of town.

Basketball coach Pat Riley turns 73 today. Nothing special planned. Just going out and having the oil changed on his hair.

Carl Reiner is still going and alive and well on Twitter at age 96!

National Proposal Day -- Have folks propose or reafirm their love for each other. Here are Cosmopolitan's ten ways NOT to get him to propose:
  • Gain 35 pounds to show him how sexy you'll look pregnant. 
  • Freak out whenever he utters "Will you...," then act all depressed when the words "...marry me" don't follow. Practice on these: "Will you... pass the remote?" or "Will you... stop staring at me like that?" 
  • Surreptitiously change his ring tone to "Chapel of Love." 
  • Since the theory is that all guys are looking for their mother, start wearing pleated elastic-waist jeans, appliqued vests, and jewelry that looks like fruit. 
  • Buy an old-fashioned alarm clock and place it by his bed. Tell him that this is your biological clock. Make sure it ticks - loud. 
  • Constantly call his best friend "excellent best-man material." 
  • At a family party, tap your spoon on your glass and say, "Everybody, I think Pete wanted to ask me a special question while you were all here tonight. Sweetie?" 
  • Not that you'd ever bribe anyone, but explain to your man that if you were to get engaged, he could register for the motorbike he's always wanted. Hey someone might buy it for him. 
  • Oh so casually request "Babe, can you scratch my ring finger? It's kinda itchy." 
  • Remind him that the's not getting any younger -- or any closer to actually knowing Amy Adams. 

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