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Monday, March 5, 2018

ON THIS DAY

On this date in 1770, the infamous "Boston Massacre" took place. The real one, not a sports analogy.

In 1845, congress approved spending $30,000 to ship camels to the western Unithed States.
  • Things went pretty smoothly until the first hump day. All it took was one. 
  • Of course, the second the camels arrived, they were all saying, "You know what day it is? Huh?" 
  • That was back in the day when they did things. 
  • Until then, people who would walk a mile didn't have any goals. 

On this date in 1927, U.S. marines landed in China to protect American property. Oh, how the tables have turned.

In 1946, Winston Churchill coined the phrase, "Iron Curtain." It was in response to the question, "What do you do if your curtain is wrinkled?"

On this date in 1969, gold reached a record price of $47 an ounce. To the time machine!
  • Just think -- if you were around then and bought a bunch of it, you'd be rich today. But also, old. 
  • Nowadays, the dust is worth that much. 
  • If I knew then what I knew now. 

In 1994, a South African restaurant set the world record for the largest milkshake ever: 1,955 gallons. Needless to say, it really slowed things down at the drive-through window.

On this date in 1998, NASA said that an orbiting craft had found enough water on the moon to support a human colony and open a Starbucks.


TODAY IS

Happy Cinco de Marcho.

Jake Lloyd, the young Anakin Skywalker from the "Phantom Menace" movie, turns 29 today. He's this generation's Mark Hamill. Yeah, right.

Eva Mendes turns 44 today. She's the significant other of Ryan Gosling, so no presents are necessary. They have one child together, but they haven't exactly been fast and furious to the alter.

The singer Rome turns 48 today. He wasn't built in a day, but he was born on one.

NFL Hall-of-Famer and former Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Michael Irvin turns 52 today. During his prime, he caught more things than Paris Hilton when the fleet was in.

TV preacher Joel Osteen turns 55 today... if you believe.

Penn Jillette turned himself into a 63-year-old today, without a drop of magic.
  • I think he used to work in a bank, because if teller had been a teller it would have been redundant. 
  • *Make those years disappear, magic guy! 
  • To be honest, his parents were hoping for a pencil. 

Eddy Grant who sang "Electric Avenue" turns the big 7-0 and is reportedly going solar.

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