WEIRD NEWS

Modesty Ponchos!
Students attending Divine Child High School's prom on May 12 in a dress that doesn't meet the Catholic school's dress code will be handed a "modesty poncho" to wear. (Think: Cheap, plastic rain poncho) The ponchos are on display at the Dearborn, Mich., school along with a note that reads, "If your dress does not meet our formal dance dress requirements - no problem! We've got you covered - literally. This is our Modesty Poncho, which you'll be given at the door. The school's Prom Formal Dress Policy bans "plunging necklines," "plunging back openings," "exposed cleavage," "visible midriffs," "cutouts beneath the traditional bra line," and slits that go higher than an inch above the knee joint, among other things. Students and their parents are required to sign off on the requirements and acknowledge that if their dress doesn't meet them, they may be forced to change or sent home. Of course many are criticizing the policy on social media, with one student saying the school forces modesty ponchos on larger-breasted girls who wear something "even a little low" cut: "they basically body shame girls if they're bigger than a B cup," the post reads. The teacher at the school who came up with the poncho idea says it "was really intended as a deterrent and a lighthearted one at that." The school is "trying focus on the inner beauty and not draw attention to something that doesn't need attention drawn to it," she adds. (Newser)

More Facebook Woes! They've Got a Pro Stalker!
Like Facebook doesn't already have enough problems. New allegations for the social media king initiated with a tweet from Jackie Stokes, head of the Spyglass Security computer security firm: "I've been made aware that a security engineer currently employed at Facebook is likely using privileged access to stalk women online. I have Tinder logs. What should I do with this information?" Facebook is reportedly now checking out her claim and Stokes confirmed "multiple senior Facebook employees" had contacted her. Stokes says she confirmed the so-called stalker was a Facebook staffer with some online detective work, and she posted a screenshot of the exchange between the sender and recipient. After the message's sender jokes about being a "professional stalker," the recipient replies: "Is that what you're currently doing? Trying to internet stalk me?" A Facebook rep says: "We have a zero-tolerance approach to abuse, and improper behavior results in termination." (Motherboard)

Guy Who Drowned is Suing Cops for Letting Him Drown!
A man who says he tried to commit suicide by drowning himself during a bipolar episode is suing police in Virginia over claims they stood by as the life drained out of him. The suit filed by Polish national Mateusz Fijalkowski in Virginia alleges that Fairfax County police actually held lifeguards back from saving him until he was clinically dead. Fijalkowski was working at the pool in Fairfax two years ago while in the US on a summer program. Though he spoke little English and could not swim, he was reportedly made an assistant manager of the facility. He says he's suing because the 2016 incident left him with more than $100,000 in medical bills. He says he had never suffered any mental health episodes before the incident; he was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder. His suit names 11 police officers as well as the lifeguard supervisor and the company that runs the pool. Fijalkowski's attorney posted a video taken during the incident that shows the moments before he entered the pool as well as the aftermath during which rescuers use CPR after Fijalkowski says he was clinically dead. He was left underwater for more than two minutes according to the lawsuit. He spent the next two weeks hospitalized before a subsequent six-day stint in a psychiatric unit. For their part, the Fairfax County Police say officers acted to protect their own safety and the safety of lifeguards. They say they acted quickly enough to save Fijalkowski's life. Fairfax County Police Chief Edwin Roessler has said he fully supports his officers' actions and has called the lawsuit "frivolous." (Washington Post)

Getting Creative with Classical
A 7-Eleven convenience store in Modesto, California, has found a way to keep people from panhandling and loitering outside the store: crank up Mozart and Bach! Sukhi Sandhu owns the franchise and said his customers tell him they feel safer since he started blasting classical music symphonies and occasional operas over outdoor speakers. "Once the music started, the riffraff left," said Manuel Souza, who's homeless and jokingly referred to himself as part of the riffraff. The classical music is part of a 7-Eleven program that encourages non-confrontational methods to reduce loitering. Sandhu said it eliminates any risks faced by clerks when asking panhandlers to leave, he said. (The Modesto Bee)

Beware Men Who Track Bigfoot for the Government
Police in Monett, Arkansas, say 46-year-old Keith Barnes, who was being investigated after claiming he tracks Bigfoot for the U.S. government, has been arrested on a child porn charge. Authorities say they found evidence for a charge of possessing or viewing matter depicting sexually explicit conduct involving a child. The investigation began after people reported seeing Barnes wearing a uniform with a badge and stating he was a cryptozoologist with the Department of the Interior. Not only does he not work there, the job title doesn't even exist. (THV 11)

Well Of Course Legoland Did!
Just days after the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge welcomed their new son into the world, the royal baby has made his Lego debut. Legoland Windsor Resort - which just happens to be located near the residence of the royal baby's great-grandmother, Queen Elizabeth - has welcomed the royal family's Lego counterparts to the park's Miniland attraction. The lego model shows father William and mother Catherine holding the newborn prince, along with their first two children, Princess Charlotte and Prince George, in front of a Lego model of Buckingham Palace. Of course, no depiction of the royal family would be complete without Lego paparazzi snapping pictures, so they were included as well. (Huffington Post)

Sign Here Please
Whether you're a celebrity who spends a lot of time giving autographs, or just a busy businessperson who doesn't have time to sign mountains of documents, you can now own your very own state-of-the-art Signing Machine, and it'll do it for you. Swiss watchmaker Jaquet Droz unveiled its impressive Signing Machine last month at the Baselworld Watch Show after reportedly working on it for the last four years. It showcases the company's mechanical clockwork technology, only instead of doing it by accurately telling time, it replicates your signature to perfection. It is a wee bit expensive. Want to take a guess how much one costs? How about $365,000 bucks? Yep! (Metro)

What the What?
A head-teachers' union in the UK recently reported that students have become so accustomed to using digital devices that they can no longer tell time using traditional analog clocks with hands and faces. So schools are being forced to replace them. According to Malcolm Trobe, deputy general secretary at the Association of School and College Leaders, children and young teens aren't as good at reading an old-fashioned clock as previous ones. Because phones, tablets and computers play such a huge role in their lives, they are constantly exposed to time in digital format, so seeing the time displayed in analog format in examination halls can be a cause of unnecessary stress for children. For this reason, some schools are removing analog clocks and replacing them with digital ones. Or you could take a half hour to teach them... because isn't that what teachers do??? Blimey! (Metro)

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