TOP FIVE SIGNS YOUR DOG REALLY DOESN'T LIKE YOU

1. Somehow, he's learned how to give you "the paw"
2. Every morning, all the family roller skates are left on the stairs
3. You didn't give him that chew toy -- he's seeing another owner!
4. He "shakes a paw" with everyone... except you.
5. Bumpersticker on dog house: "I'd rather be owned by Donald Trump"