Pretend you don't speak English. Say "Hold on," then scream to a nonexistent person: "If you try to take the knife out, it'll just hurt worse!" Burst into tears when money is mentioned. Ask if the deal is good for all your personalities. Tell them you'll accept their offer if they can guess the color of your socks. Repeat everything they say in the form of a question. As soon as they identify themselves, say, "You guys are still in business? I thought you went under after the scandal at your company." Tell them the restraining order applies to phone calls as well as physical distance. Mutter: "Oh, no. Not another one. The last one almost got me the death penalty." Hang up the phone!

Forrest Gump was right -- life is like a box of chocolates. The king of bonbon that pleases your sweet tooth provides a telling insight into the flavor of your personality. "An extensive survey proved the theory that chocolate is one of those foods that taps a wellspring of childhood memories," says psychologist Dorothy Maples, of Detroit, MI. "Kids don't bother with facades. What you see is what you get. And that same core truth about your personality is revealed by your choice of chocolate." Chocolate-Covered Nuts  -- You're the mainstay of your family, always there to support your loved ones. And they know that you can be depended on to solve most any problem. Caramel Center  -- You're the Peter Pan in your circle of loved ones -- beneath your adult shell beats the heart of a youngster. Your genuine enjoyment of everything life has to offer is contagious. Creme-Filled  -- You take pride in an old-fashioned lifestyle that's a mirror of your parents...

In 1924 Italian composer Giacomo Puccini dies in Brussels. In 1941 "Chattanooga Choo Choo" by Glenn Miller is #1 on the charts. In 1947 Louis Armstrong performs at Carnegie Hall in New York City. In 1959 Frank Sinatra wins Best Album for "Come Dance With Me" at the second annual Grammy Awards. Bobby Darin wins Best Record for "Mac The Knife." In 1963 The Beatles release "I Want To Hold Your Hand" in the UK. In 1963 "Sugar Shack" by Jimmy Gilmer & The Fireballs is certified gold. In 1965 Governor John A. Love declares Rolling Stones Day in Colorado. In 1968 John Lennon is convicted for marijuana possession in London and fined $360. In 1969 Bob Dylan appears on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. In 1969 "Don't Cry Daddy" by Elvis Presley enters the U.S. top 40 chart. In 1969 "Something" b/w "Come Together" by the Beatles is #1 on the U.S. top 40 chart. In 1972 "I'd Love You To Want Me"...

In 1530 Cardinal Thomas Wolsey, onetime advisor to England's King Henry VIII, dies. In 1864 The Colorado militia kills 150 peaceful Cheyenne Indians in what becomes known as the "Sand Creek Massacre." In 1877 Edison makes the first sound recording: "Mary Had a Little Lamb." In 1887 The U.S. receives rights to Pearl Harbor on Oahu, Hawaii. In 1890 The first Army-Navy football game is played, at West Point, New York. Navy defeats Army, 24-0. In 1897 The first oval-track motorcycle races are run in Surrey, England. In 1929 Navy Lt. Commander Richard E. Byrd radios to say that he had made the first airplane flight over the South Pole. In 1934 Chicago beats Detroit in the first nationally broadcast NFL game. In 1945 The monarchy is abolished in Yugoslavia and a republic proclaimed. In 1947 The U.N. General Assembly passes a resolution calling for the partitioning of Palestine between Arabs and Jews. In 1951 First underground atomic explosion at Frenchman Flat, Nevada...

In 1729 Writer, Charles Thomson (America's first official record keeper) In 1803 Physicist, Christian Doppler (discovered Doppler Effect color shift) In 1811 Wendell Phillips, women's suffrage, antislavery, prison reformer In 1816 Morrison R. Waite, seventh Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court In 1818 Canadian publisher, George Brown (Toronto Globe) In 1832 American author, Louisa May Alcott (Little Women) In 1849 Engineer, Sir Ambrose Fleming (invented the diode) In 1866 British astronomer, Ernest William Brown (motion of the moon) In 1876 First female governor, Nellie Taylor Ross (Wyoming) In 1895 Actor/director, Busby Berkeley In 1898 English scholar/sci-fi writer, C.S. Lewis In 1900 Propaganda broadcaster, Mildred E. Gillars (Axis Sally) [d: 6-25-88] In 1906 Actor, Luis Van Rooten (One Man's Family) [d: 6-17-73] In 1908 Congressman/minister, Adam Clayton Powell Jr. [d: 4-4-72] In 1915 Jazz pianist/composer, Billy Strayhorn [d: 5-3-67] In 1916 Actress, Fran Ryan (Dori...

In 1899 The first jukebox is installed in San Francisco's Palais Royal Hotel. In 1903 Singer Enrico Caruso makes his American debut at the Metropolitan Opera House in New York. In 1938 Bob Hope and Shirley Ross record "Thanks For The Memory," which would become Hope's theme song. In 1940 "Blueberry Hill" by Glenn Miller is #1 on the charts. In 1959 The musical "Fiorello!" opens on Broadway. In 1959 An RCA spokesman denies the army will change Elvis Presley's style. In 1962 Joan Baez appears on the cover of Time magazine. In 1963 "I'm Leaving It Up To You" by Dale & Grace hits #1 on the U.S. top 40 chart and stayed there for 2 weeks. In 1964 The Beatles' single "I Feel Fine" b/w "She's a Woman" is released in the U.S. In 1964 After the group shows up late for 2 interviews, the BBC bans the Rolling Stones' music. In 1965 Dusty Springfield and Little Richard perform on TV's "Where The Acti...

In 1765 Frederick County, Maryland, repudiates the British Stamp Act. In 1863 A patent is granted for the process of making color photographs. In 1919 The first play-by-play football game broadcast in the UnitedStates. Texas A&M defeated the University of Texas, 7-0. In 1936 The first edition of "Life Magazine" created by Henry R. Luce is published. In 1942 The world record for survival at sea is set when Poon Lim is rescued 133 days after being blown off a torpedoed ship. In 1943 U.S. forces seize control of Tarawa and Makin from the Japanese during the Central Pacific offensive in the Gilbert Islands during World War II. In 1945 Most wartime rationing of foods ends in the United States. In 1948 F.G. Back patents the zoom lens effect. In 1963 President Lyndon B. Johnson proclaims November 25th, an international day of mourning following the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. In 1963 "Dr. Who" premieres on British television. In 1971 People's Republ...