17th Annual Memorial Scholarship Golf Tournament

Wednesday, August 2, 2017


Hangovers are like a Long Island Iced Tea -- a phenomenon made from equal parts headache, stomach pains, fuzzy mental function, and a sour mix of regret and self-hatred. As heinous as they are, though, hangovers force us to confront truly tough questions (read: I hooked up with who?). A hangover serves true enjoyment like death serves life: it makes it worthwhile, gives it value. Hangovers don't punish us for wanting to have fun, they simply tweak the definition of fun to include such modifiers as "dumb decision" and "never-do-that-again," de facto warnings we'll forget in earnest the next time around. So let us pause and raise a toast to 5 things you didn't know about hangovers.
  1. Ancient hangovers were treated with bird beaks and tree sap 
  2. The longest recorded hangover lasted four weeks 
  3. The ATF shut down a vodka maker's "hangover-free" ad campaign 
  4. Rabbit droppings were used as a hangover cure in the Old West 
  5. Rich people have milder hangovers 

The last thing you didn't know about hangovers is that they do discriminate -- cheapskates opting for the bar's well tequila over the top-shelf stuff could be in for a meaner hangover. A study of hangovers published by the National Institutes of Health indicated that some congeners -- compounds added to alcohol for color and flavor -- may "contribute to a beverage's intoxicating effects and to a subsequent hangover." Pricey liquors are distilled with higher purity, and they have fewer such congeners, including a potentially lethal one: methanol.

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