SIGNS YOU CAN'T DRIVE

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You refer to the windshield as the exit
The community college filmmaking class paid you $10 to drive around the parking lot. It seems they can't afford a stunt driver.
As a safety measure, you removed the rear and side view mirrors because they were "distracting."
You keep hearing "Where did you get your license?" from that nosy guy on your hood.
Your name becomes a traffic fatality verb, as in "Look out honey, you almost Bob-Smithed that guy!"
You use the pedals like on a bicycle: left, right, left, right...
Instead of "wash me," people write "kill me" on the back of your car.
You have even managed to roll a bumper car.
Hitch-hikers see you coming and pretend not to be hitch-hiking.
Your insurance company only agreed to continue your coverage if your car is fitted with the landing balloons from the Mars lander.

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