THINGS DADS LIKE TO SAY

  • Don't ask me, ask your mother.
  • Were you raised in a barn? Close the door.
  • You didn't beat me. I let you win.
  • Big boys don't cry.
  • Don't worry. It's only blood.
  • Don't you know any normal boys?
  • Now you listen to me, Buster!
  • I'll play catch after I read the paper.
  • Coffee will stunt your growth.
  • A little dirt never hurt anyone-just wipe it off.
  • Get your elbows off the table.
  • I told you, keep your eye on the ball.
  • Who said life was supposed to be fair.
  • Always say please and thank you. That way, you get more.
  • If you forget, you'll be grounded till the end of the world.
  • You call that a haircut?
  • "Hey" is for horses.
  • This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.
  • Turn off those lights. Do you think I am made of money?
  • Don't give me any of your lip, young lady.
  • You call that noise "music?"
  • We're not lost. I'm just not sure where we are.
  • No, we're not there yet.
  • Shake it off. It's only pain.
  • When I was your age, I treated my father with respect.
  • As long as you live under my roof, you'll live by my rules.
  • I'll tell you why. Because I said so. That's why.
  • Do what I say, not what I do.
  • Sit up straight, knucklehead!
  • So you think you're smart, do you?
  • What's so funny? Wipe that smile off your face.
  • Young ladies perspire, they do not sweat.
  • If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times.
  • C'mon, you throw like a girl.
  • You want something to do? I'll give you something to do.
  • You should visit more often. Your mother worries.
  • This is your last warning.
  • Your mother worries.
  • I'm not sleeping, I was watching that channel.
  • What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off?
  • I'm not just talking to hear my own voice!

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