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Wednesday, April 18, 2018

GIRLFRIEND GLOSSARY

"I need to talk."
Code for: Drop everything and come over immediately. If you must speak over the phone (clearly a second-best choice), make sure I can't hear you opening your e-mail or washing dishes during my catharsis.

"I have nothing to wear."
Code for: I'm stressed and cannot tolerate standing under fluorescent lights to try anything on. What I want is for you to lend me a perfect outfit with matching shoes.

"Do I have food in my teeth?"
Code for: You are so close to me, you can actually tell me the truth about that little piece of spinach caught in the gap between my front teeth. This code also applies to your honest opinion about my wearing anything luminescent and pink. The colors may be in style, but you have permission to tell me I look like a psychedelic ice cream cone.

"Don't tell a soul."
Code for: Includes your husband or boyfriend. No exceptions!

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