ANNOYING FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES THAT NEED TO STOP
The "Prayers Please" post
Can you be a little more specific? If I'm going to have a direct line into God for you He's gonna want some details. Stop.
The "I Have the Best Husband/Wife Ever" post
Do you now? Someone dost protest too much, methinks. Stop.
The "I Just Cleaned Out My Facebook Friends" post
Like we should be so grateful. Thank goodness I'm still here to see and read that you're still making bad decisions on the regular. Stop.
The "My Team is the Best" Rant When, Let's Be Honest, You Know the Bare Minimum About the Game In General
Provide just one stat and I'll believe you. Just one. And the color of the uniform doesn't count. You're foolish. We all know it. Stop.
The "De-Friend" and then the "Re-Friend"
Yeah, I'm all set, but thanks. Stop.
The "Witty Birth Announcement"
Yep, we see the extra pair of shoes in front of the fireplace. Stop.
The "I'm Deleting Facebook at the End of the Week" post
Crap or get off the pot. Stop.
The "I'm Checking in Everywhere I Go" post
We get it. You've been places, but I'm embarrassed for you when you checked in at Johnny Rockets. Stop.
The "Taking a Picture of Whatever Gross Growth on Your Body and Asking Your Friends to Identify What They Think is Wrong With You" post
First, you're gross. Second, use this time to travel to the ER and not uploading photos on Facebook. Third, stop.
The "Does Anyone Know What Time Walgreens Opens" Post
Um, this isn't Google. Stop being so lazy. Plus, this makes me question how good you could possibly be at your job. Stop.
The "Dog With the Black Eye" Post
Posting pictures of abused animals online? Cool. Stop.
The "Heathy Food You Just Made" Post
Nice. Now go back to binge eating in your dark basement. Stop.
The "Political Rant" Post
You literally know nothing. We all suffer from secondhand embarrassment for you. Stop.