NEVER DATE A MAN WHO...

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These tips come from female listeners.

  • Is a salesman 
  • Is his mother's only son 
  • Can look at your name-brand clothes, and name what brands they are 
  • Doesn't take his shoes off when he comes over 
  • Thinks he has a better ass than you do 
  • Has a criminal past 
  • Gets drunk on your first few dates 
  • Doesn't open doors for you 
  • Considers sweat pants a part of his every day wardrobe 
  • Won't let you go out with him on weekends or meet his friends 
  • Has to ask his mother for her opinion before he makes a decision 
  • Mentions his 'ex' within the first five dates 
  • Calls you 'dude' 
  • Still hangs out with the same people he hung out with in high school 
  • Gets mushy and weepy when he's drunk 
  • Swears in front of children 
  • Alphabetizes his spices 
  • Reuses his Ziploc bags 
  • Uses cologne to hide BO 
  • Has expired milk in the fridge 
  • Can't cook anything besides toaster strudel 
  • Spends more time in the mirror than you do 
  • With his first name in his last name (i.e., John Johnson) 
  • Is over 30 and still lives with his parents 
  • Asks you to chip in for gas 
  • Is 'roommates' with his ex 
  • Doesn't have a driver's license or own a car 
  • Gets a lot of calls from girls that are 'just friends' 
  • Has kids, but no job 
  • Lives with his baby's momma 
  • Forgets his wallet on the first date 
  • Takes you to Chuck E. Cheese on the first date 
  • Wears old, dirty sneakers (shoes tell a lot about a person) 
  • Had a few beers before the first date even started 
  • Just got divorced 
  • Plays more video games than your 10 year-old brother 
  • Can't even keep his car clean (inside and out) 
  • Can never spend the holidays with you because he works 
  • Never stays the night because he has to give his mom a ride to work in the morning 
  • Refuses to bring home some of your leftover cooking 
  • Who shuts off his cell phone at certain times of the night 
  • Wants you to marry him within the first six months (he's hiding something)

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