ON THIS DAY
In 1836, the siege of "The Alamo" began in San Antonio, Texas.
- I'll stop there in case you don't know how it ended.
- But that's all I can remember.
- If you didn't hear how it ended, would you care to make a small wager?
- That's when Davy Crockett said to Jim Bowie, "Shoot. Why did they have to remember it?"
On this date in 1861, Abraham Lincoln arrived secretly in Washington to become president.
- So Trump wasn't the first.
- What he most excited about? The free theater tickets.
- He took over on the same day that Texas left the union. Talk about your rough first day on the job.
In 1887, America banned the import of opium from China, saying, "That ought to solve the problem." There was a time when you could buy an opium-based product designed to help your crying baby go to sleep. Absolutely true.
The Tootsie Roll was introduced on this date in 1896 -- Tootsie was the 6-year-old daughter of Austrian immigrant Leo Hirschfield who invented the chewy candy. 17 million of the chewy treats are rolled out every day.
On this date in 1917, the Russian revolution began after a very short pre-season. Bombers and anarchists had only reported to training camp three weeks earlier.
In 1927, President Coolidge signed a bill that created the Federal Communications Commission. In case they're listening: "Yay!"
That famous photo of Marines raising the flag at Iwo Jima was snapped back in 1945.
Dakota Fanning turns 24 today. We still don't know if she was named after North or South.
Country singer Steve Holy turns 46 today. Holy Steve... oops, I mean, Steve Holy!
Marc Price turns 50 today. His biggest claim to so far: being in "Family Ties" as the character, Skippy. I believe that was the last known Skippy in existence.
Singer Howard Jones turns 63 today. He's changed his tune a little bit these days: "Things can only get bitter."
Motel 6 spokesman Tom Bodett turns 63. He'll leave the light on for you... because he forgot to turn it off. Yep, he's developed quite a reputation of being an electricity waster.
Patricia Richardson, Tim Allen's TV wife on "Home Improvement" turns 67 today. Isn't that right, Al? Of course, she went on to being remembered as "Jill" in the old Tim Allen TV series "Home Improvement."
Former Dallas Cowboys football player Ed "Too Tall" Jones is also 67 and changing his name to Ed "Too Old" Jones. Another year of just letting his birthday candles burn out. Why doesn't he blow them out? Too tall.