- Anything with an electrical cord attached
- Anything that belongs in a kitchen
- Anything that makes a noise
- A Hickory Farms cheese ball
- A catcher's mitt
- A rash in the shape of a heart
- A 6-pack of beer
- Nose hair trimmers
- A box of chocolates with all the good ones missing and big thumb-holes mashed into all the praline ones
- Jewelry that comes in a plastic bubble from a supermarket
- Frozen tater tots
- Anything from a drug store
- A chilled bottle of Mop and Glow
- Anything that says "one size fits all"
- Anything from Victoria's Secret that is two sizes too small
- A toilet brush
- A valentine balloon on a broken stick
- You, talking dirty
- Bikini briefs that have "Gimme a Big one!" printed on the front
- An extension cord with a bow on it
- A "Star Trek" or "Star Wars" calendar
Monday, February 6, 2017
THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER GIVE A WOMAN FOR VALENTINE'S
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