WEIRD NEWS

It's Uber's Fault I Got Divorced!

Over in France, a husband is suing Uber which he blames for his pending divorce. It seems the guy was cheating and booked an Uber ride to meet his lover. He used his wife's phone to book the ride but says he logged in and out of his own account to do so. However, a glitch in the app caused her to keep receiving notifications whenever he used the service, arousing her suspicions that he was having an affair and leading her to file for divorce. So he's suing Uber for $45 million! The first hearing in the case is scheduled for March. "Uber doesn't publicly comment on individual cases, and especially those which concern things such as a divorce procedure," the company said in a statement. Of course, this could lead to many similar lawsuits, though not from Android users: The problem appears to be confined to iPhone iOS versions of the Uber app that were updated after Dec. 16 last year. (Daily Dot)

Maybe We Should All Hope Trump Blasts Our Company

You've surely heard the story by now: Nordstrom announces it is dropping Ivanka Trump's clothing line due to poor sales so President Trump then takes to Twitter to blast the high-end retail giant. Then something unexpected happens - Nordstrom's stock soars! Yep, after very briefly dipping, Nordstrom's stock rebounded in a big way. It was up nearly 5% by the end of the day - a day when the rest of the market was essentially flat. In fact, it was Nordstrom's sixth best day on the market in the past year and ninth best day in the past five years. This despite White House press secretary Sean Spicer calling Nordstrom's decision to drop Ivanka's line a "direct attack" on the president, his policies, and his family that is "not acceptable." (Vox)

Pattern-Recognition-Algorithm For Poop!

Courtney Marneweck of a South Africa's University of KwaZulu-Natal recently explained in a journal article how challenging and difficult field work can actually be. She's not kidding. She went on to explain that studying the sociology of a white rhino's dung meant developing a "pattern-recognition algorithm" to figure out "smell profiles" of 150 animals' feces -- after tracking them individually to observe them in the act. Marneweck wrote, "I think my record for waiting for a rhino to poo was 7 1/2 hours." But it paid off. She managed to conclude and document that Rhinos use feces to send distinct social signals on genetically compatible herds, mating access, and predator dangers. In other words Rhino poop is kind of like a Facebook post. (Los Angeles Times)

Daily Mail Out at Wikipedia

The next time you need to brush up on a big celebrity scandal, forget about any Wikipedia articles referencing links to the Daily Mail. The online encyclopedia's volunteer editors have ruled that the widely read British tabloid known for splashy celebrity coverage and conservative politics is "generally unreliable" and should not be used as source material. The decision follows a month-long debate instigated by one editor who said the Mail's faults were too "enormous" to list and proposed "something just short of blacklisting." The editors called out the tab's "reputation for poor fact checking, sensationalism, and flat-out fabrication," saying that citations should be "generally prohibited, especially when other more reliable sources exist." They also urged volunteers to find new sources for the "multiple thousands" of existing references linking to the Mail. The ban is a highly unusual move by Wikipedia, but they have banned similar publications including theNational Enquirer and China's state-run Xinhua news agency. (Newser)

Lime Aid

Here are some limes that will never be put in the coconut. US Customs and Border Protection officials in Pharr, Texas, near the border with Mexico, intercepted a truck that appeared to be holding more than 34,000 key limes. But a closer look revealed the limes were fake - with nearly 4,000 pounds of pot hidden inside them. The entire stash was worth around $790,000. The drugs were spotted thanks to an imaging inspection program and narcotics K9s. It ain't the first time. Other recent produce-like smuggling disguise attempts have included fake watermelons, carrots, and asparagus. (CNN)

Because Whole Foods Doesn't Already Take Enough of Your Money

I can't believe this nonsense. I mean we put a man on the moon but yet are still cutting up our own carrot sticks? Well not anymore. Thank God for the new Whole Foods location in New York City's Bryant Park that has its own "produce butcher" on staff. Said produce butcher will "cut, slice, dice, julienne, chop, and grate" your fruits and vegetables on demand! And this amazing service will only cost you $1 for individual items, such as cantaloupe, or $1 per pound for smaller items like onions and carrots. However, be advised there is a 5-pound limit on items you can have another human being cut up for you. According to Business Insider, "luxury ... seems to reign supreme" at the new Whole Foods store, which opened last week and features, among many other things, "artisanal" avocado toast and food from local celebrity chefs. (Fortune)


What the What?

Yay - you're getting married! Along with finding true love you also get to register for amazing things. You've got your fine china, a gourmet coffee press, a set of super plush thick towels. And now you've got pizza! Yep - Domino's is launching a wedding registry. No kidding! Spokesperson Jenny Fouracre said, "Our registry aims to bring couples together over their shared love of pizza. We hear often from customers that Domino's was a part of their big day, from proposals to after-hours meals at their wedding. We wanted to make it easier for people to ask for and receive something that they'll really use." So the registry is basically e-gift cards of various denominations, so friends and family can treat the couple to everything from food for a bachelorette party to a post-nuptials date night. (USA Today)

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