YOU KNOW YOU'RE ADDICTED TO COFFEE WHEN...

Your eyes stay open when you sneeze
You chew on other people's fingernails
The song you love the most goes like this, "The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup"
You're so wired you pick up radio signals
Your name is Mike, but people call you Buzz
At your last annual physical, you broke your doctor's stethoscope
Teeth whitening strips don't stand a chance
Your vanity license plate says: Jitter-Bug
You have a picture of your coffee mug... on your coffee mug
You ski uphill
When your wife asks what you think of her new hair-do, you say, "I like it a latte'."
You feel fine, but co-workers think you have Parkinsons
Once upon a time you loved NASCAR and hockey, but now they're too slow
You've done 5 miles on your treadmill before you discover it's not turned on
You don't sweat... you percolate
You don't tan you roast
You don't get mad... you get steamed
You named your cats Cream and Sugar, and your dog Starbuck
Your wife is your coffee mate
Your lips are stuck in the sipping position
You speak so fast people ask, "Have you ever considered being "An auctioneer?"
You can jump-start your car without cables.