THE TWELVE DAYS OF THANKSGIVING

(or what seems like years)

On the first day: We give thanks for the fresh turkey feast and its hot trimmings.

On the second day: We bless the cold turkey sandwiches, sloshy cranberry sauce, and hard rolls.

On the third day: We praise the turkey pie and vintage mixed veggies.

On the fourth day: We thank the pilgrims for not serving bison that first time, or we'd be celebrating Thanksgiving in April.

On the fifth day: We gobble up cubed bird casserole and pray for a glimpse of naked turkey carcass.

On the sixth day: We show gratitude (sort of) to the creative cook who slings cashews at the turkey and calls it Oriental.

On the seventh day: We forgive our forefathers and pass the turkey-nugget pizza.

On the eighth day: The word "vegetarian" keeps popping into our heads.

On the ninth day: We check our hair to make sure we're not beginning to sprout feathers.

On the tenth day: We hope that the wing meat kabobs catch fire under the broiler.

On the eleventh day: We smile over the creamed gizzard because the thigh bones are in sight.

On the twelfth day: We apologize for running out of turkey leftovers. And everybody says Amen.

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