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Tuesday, March 21, 2017


On this date in 1621, the Pilgrims and Indians made a treaty. The Indians wouldn't open any casinos as long as the Pilgrims didn't watch football on Thanksgiving. We all know how that worked out.
Obviously, the Pilgrims had the better lawyer.
As we all know, it turned out to be one of the worst time-share agreements of all time.
The Native Americans agreed to teach them the ways to survive in the New World and the pilgrims agreed to learn and eventually displace the Native Americans from their home.
Within 6 months, the "Ye Olde Casino" opened up.

In 1790, Thomas Jefferson reported to George Washington as our country's new Secretary of State. The first thing Washington said was, "Dibs on the dollar bill and the quarter!" He wanted to make sure he started the job before National Secretary's Day rolled around.

On this date in 1881, the famous 20-year-long Hatfield and McCoy feud ends. They were the Kardashians and Blac Chyna of their time. Unfortunately, one side said, "We're finally done with this stupid feud." And someone from the other side said, "Who you callin' stupid?"

In 1963, Attorney General Robert Kennedy closed the prison known as "Alcatraz." It took two tries. The first time, there was a typo in his proclamation and he accidentally closed Alka-Seltzer.

On this date in 1987, Televangelist Oral Roberts announced that he HAD to raise 8 million dollars or God would "call him home." Yeah, me, too.

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