YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND

A woman may give you her body and her heart, but there are parts that she'll never give up. You know, secrets of lovers past, hidden fantasies and unshared longings. Here's a sample of some of those secrets from Mens Health:

• My best friend knows everything. She knows all of your vitals -- from the size of your bank account to the size of your other, um, holdings -- and she knows how both compare with those of every other man I've ever dated. 
• I have Googled your exes. 
• I have discovered your porn stash and your frequently visited porn Web sites and think the things that turn you on are hilarious. 
• At the beginning of our relationship, I save all of your voice mails and listen to them (and make my friends listen, too), repeatedly. 
• I check out your butt every time you leave the room. 
• Even if I insist on paying or splitting the bill on our first date, I'll think you're cheap if you let me. 
• When you go away, even for a day, I sleep in your favorite old t-shirt because it smells like you. 
• I still think about my ex-boyfriends and compare them to you. Mostly you win. Sometimes not. 
• I only appear to have it all together. My true organization (or lack thereof) is revealed in my closet, my makeup bag, my desk files. 
• You've made me cry more times than you'll ever know.