Spare the Gun, Spoil the Child?

In Blackpool, England, a couple is in jail after they shot their children with a BB gun for not doing household chores properly! The five kids, aged 7 to 15, were apparently blasted with the air weapon daily! One girl said she was shot for dropping things while her 15-year-old sister was targeted for refusing to change a diaper. Another girl, aged 13, was shot for having a boyfriend - her dad said she was too young. One daughter said: "They'd shoot me on the legs, arms, stomach and back." The crimes came to light this year when one of the children, who had an open wound, told a teacher she'd been shot. Social services removed the children from the home. The kids said while both parents used the gun, it was mostly the father. (Daily Mirror)

There's No Rush. My Kid's Just Dying!

Well there won't be any bail for 25-year-old Dijanelle Fowler, the Georgia woman accused of second-degree murder in the hot-car death of her 1-year-old daughter. Prosecutors say Fowler spent more than five hours getting her hair braided at a salon on June 19 while her infant daughter, Skylar Fowler, died in a vehicle whose temperature reached 129 degrees. Fowler reportedly even told the stylist, "No rush. Take your time." Skylar's father, Louis Williams II, is an Air Force reservist who was serving in the Middle East when their daughter died. Williams also requested denial of bond, saying Fowler confessed to him after giving several false accounts of the circumstances leading to their daughter's death. Why Fowler - who says she left the car's air-conditioning running, which apparently killed the battery - would leave her baby for so many hours on such a hot day is "the million dollar question," says Capt. Jerry Lewis. Fowler was reportedly calm when she asked for a jump in the parking lot, after which she drove Skylar to Emory University Hospital. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

You Want to Make Homemade Porn? Better Keep it Indoors!

If you want to make homemade adult porn, and sell it on Twitter, I suppose that's your business - well unless you're filming in public! Arkansas police have arrested 30-year-old Leslie Sessions and 37-year-old Derek Calloway and charged them with nine felonies, including public display of hard-core sexual conduct and promoting an obscene performance. You'll also be happy to hear they are the parents of two young children. Calloway reported that the duo's "adult films" venture earns them $1000 monthly. After Jonesboro cops were tipped that Sessions was recording "public hard-core sexual conduct," they reviewed one of her videos and determined that explicit acts were being performed in public. Investigators allege that Sessions masturbated while seated at a table in a Cheddar's restaurant and used a sex toy on herself in a Home Depot parking lot. She also allegedly exposed herself in the Home Depot's appliance section and engaged in a sex act inside a dressing room at a Kohl's department store. Calloway is charged with recording his wife's performances and participating in one sex act at a Jonesboro nature preserve. While inside Cheddar's, Calloway also operated "a pair of wireless vibrating panties" worn by his spouse. Wait - they make wireless vibrating panties now? (The Smoking Gun)

Those Nutty Stephen King Fans and Their Balloons!

Police in Lititz, Pennsylvania are at least giving one prankster points for creativity after he tied red helium balloons to storm grates ahead of Friday's release of the Stephen King movie It - but they "respectfully request they do not do that again." In a Facebook post the officers wrote: "We want the local prankster to know that we were completely terrified as we removed these balloons." They suggested that anybody unaware of the connection to the clown Pennywise in the Stephen King adaptation watch the trailer. State police have already warned that the movie's release could cause a repeat of last year's spate of creepy clown sightings. (CBS Pittsburgh)

Those Dirty, Cheating, Boston Red Sox

The Boston Red Sox have reportedly admitted to Major League Baseball that they improperly used an Apple watch to steal signs from their longtime rival, the New York Yankees. According to the New York Times, the Red Sox used the watch to relay signs by the Yankees catchers during a series last month at Fenway Park. An MLB probe started after Yankees general manager Brian Cashman filed a complaint with the commissioner's office that included video. The newspaper said the video showed a member of Boston's training staff looking at his Apple Watch in the dugout and relaying a message to players. Sign stealing is allowed, but electronic assistance is prohibited. The Red Sox hold a narrow lead over the Yankees in the AL East race. Oh sure, that's what the New York Times says...but what about the Boston Globe? (New York Times)

And There's a Drinking Problem

Montana Authorities say 58-year-old Kenneth Steven Berger, a Helena motorcyclist with five prior DUI convictions, had been driving with a blood alcohol concentration of three times the legal limit before running out of gas Sunday on Interstate 15. Berger was waving down traffic after he ran out of gas, and a state trooper stopped to help. The trooper noticed Berger smelled of alcohol, and the man admitted to having three beers earlier that day. Those must have been really big beers because after failing a field sobriety test, Berger blew a 0.255 in the breathalyzer. A license check revealed the prior convictions, and Berger was jailed on a felony DUI charge. (Independent Record)

What the WHAT?

It just might be the worst first date in history. In Britain, a couple who met on Tinder were on a first date when the woman reportedly went to use her date's bathroom, only to soon find herself in the middle of a terrifying nightmare: Her poop wouldn't flush. Her genius plan B was apparently to remove the poop, wrap it in toilet paper and then toss it out the bathroom window. Then she discovered the bathroom window was made up of two non-opening windows - and the poop got stuck between them. So she tried climbing head-first from the top so she could reach the bottom to retrieve the poop. Which, amazingly, she did. But then she realized she was also stuck and ultimately had to be rescued by firefighters, who broke the window in the process. Her date, Liam Smith, took to GoFundMe to raise some of the funds needed for what he says is about a $400 replacement cost. He graciously did not identify the mystery woman and actually has raised $2,500, and says the excess will be split between a charity that brings toilets to the developing world and a firefighters charity. And for those thinking hoax -- the Avon Fire and Rescue service did confirm the story. So you meet a guy on Tinder, and for your very first date you go to his house? Oh sure - that's safe! (Gizmodo)


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