ON THIS DAY

On this date in 1805, Lewis and Clark saw the Pacific Ocean for the very first time. They had traveled for months waiting to yell out, "Surf's up!"
  • That's when they uttered those immortal words, "Well, that's about as far as we can go!" 
  • That's when Clark said to Lewis, "How in the heck are we going to get across that?" 
  • That's when Lewis made that famous statement, "Want to swim out and see how far it goes?" 
  • It looked just like the Atlantic Ocean, but just in the other direction. 
  • It was exactly where they expected to find it: down by the beach. 
Madame Marie Curie was born on this date in 1867. She and her husband discovered radium. Of course, without it, we couldn't drive around on radium tires.

On this date in 1874, the Republican party was first symbolized by using a cartoon elephant. Ironically, I don't remember who did it.

In 1876, the cigarette-making machine was invented.
  • It seemed like such a good idea at the time. 
  • Of course, the guy who thought of it was a Cancer. 
  • After smoking a few fresh off the machine, the inventor had to say it: "Nice butts!" 

It was on this date in 1893 that Colorado granted women the right to vote. Before then, if Hillary Clinton had run, she wouldn't have been able to vote for herself.

On this date in 1929, the Museum of Modern Art opened in New York City. Needless to say, Art was flattered.

In 1962, Richard Nixon told the California press, "You won't have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore." It was the day after he quit as goalie for the Republican soccer team.

On this date in 1976, "Gone with the Wind" was shown on television for the very first time. Yeah, I know -- frankly, you don't give a damn.

TODAY IS

Singer Lorde is 21 today. And the Lorde said, "Give me a drink!"

Zahir Raheem is 41 today. I'm pretty sure he's a boxer. It's either that, or the woman John Travolta once introduced at the Oscars.

Christopher Knight, Peter in the original Brady Bunch, turns the big 6-0!
  • The first one who starts singing, "Here's a story... " gets it! 
  • Just for old times' sake, someone took a shirt from his closet without asking. 
  • If only he knew then what he knows now about Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. 
  • It's getting harder to find people who remember that show... and even the ones that remember it are starting to forget it. 
Singer Joni Mitchell ("Turn Me On I'm a Radio") turns 74 today. The 60's singer has made it to the 70s.

Johnny Rivers turns 75. He had a hit years ago called, "Slow Dancin', Swaying to the Music." Now, he's just slow and swayin'.

Evangelist Billy Graham is still around -- he's 99 today! God must like him where he is. In his prime, he would stand in front of thousands in a stadium, as they yelled out, "Oh my God!" Of course, the Cleveland Browns do that now. Magazine Day -- If you were to pose for a magazine cover, which magazine would it be?

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