- I rub my lips together often in your presence.
- I sit at the edge of my seat.
- Instead of merlot, I order a Corona, which, conveniently, is severed in a bottle -- the better to sexily sip from.
- My speech pattern is starting to resemble, like, Kim Kardashian's.
- You smoke. I don't. Yet I'm talking to you.
- I touch you (for any reason) more than once.
- I laugh, frequently and nervously, even amid humorless conversation.
- I use your name often in conversation.
- I tell you that you look like some particular celebrity, which means I think both you and the celebrity are very hot.
- The place is a rod-fest, yet I'm talking to you and you alone.
- My cell phone rings and I don't answer it. And I turn off my ringer immediately.
Friday, April 21, 2017
I WANT YOU SO BAD!
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