YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO DIET WHEN...

  • You dance and it makes the band skip. 
  • You are diagnosed with the flesh-eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live. 
  • You put mayonnaise on an aspirin. 
  • You go to the zoo and the elephants throw YOU peanuts. 
  • Your driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side." 
  • You learn you were born with a silver shovel in your mouth. 
  • Your blood type: Ragu!

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