ON THIS DAY

On this date in 1542, Christopher Columbus departed from Cadiz, Spain, on his fourth and final trip to the Western Hemisphere.

• It was called the "One more pillage for old times' sake" tour. At least that's what it said on the TV shirts.
• By this time, there was no excitement, he was just pretty much walking through it to get a paycheck and... oh, wait -- no, I was thinking of Fast and Furious 4."
• It took four times, but he finally remembered to put the newspaper on hold.
• Not as many people were interested in this one, after Chris lost it in the throne room and started jumping up and down on King Ferdinand's couch.
• By this time, the costs had really gone up and he had start charging $25 for bags.
• He wanted to get in just one more trip for the Frequent Sailor Miles.

In 1899, the lawn mower was invented.

• It was one of the major reasons for having kids.
• By a wife that was tired of asking, "Why don't you go out and mow the lawn?" and hearing back, "Because the lawnmower hasn't been invented yet!"
• Yes, it's a cursed day.
• It doesn't say here who invented. Probably to protect his identity. Up until that time, guys had every Saturday off.
• Of course, what else could you say to the inventor but, "Hey, Mow! Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk!"

On this date in 1960, the FDA approved the sale of birthday control pills. Up until then, no one had conceived the idea. Yes, birth control pills replaced the headache.