"West Virginia Police Looking for Hatchet-Wielding Golf Cart Thief!"

Truth! Hey - that's even better than Home Alone's "Wet Bandits!" Everybody's got to have a gimmick!

"Twitter Hiring Randy Quaid to Be New Spokesperson!"
Trash! Too bad. I could hear him saying, "Twitter's full!"

"Seattle Wedding Service Offers Wedding in a Shipping Crate!"
Truth! Yep, Shotgun Ceremonies relocated to a shipping container at the Georgetown Trailer Park Mall. They call it "Something a little quirky, a little different." True dat.

"Lady Gaga Dropping One of Her Ga's!"
Trash! She's a two-ga person.

"NFL To Start Penalize Players Who Don't Say 'I'm Sorry' Tackling Someone!"
Trash! Not yet.

"Arby's Now Selling Clothes That Smell Like Smoked Meats!"
Truth! The chain partnered with an actual Texas smokehouse to create the line of sweatshirts and sweat pants that will smell as if you've been sitting next to the pit for hours.

"Nobel Prize Committee Announces Awards Without Ringing Bells!"
Trash! That's just plain dumb.

"No U.S. Airlines Listed in Top Ten Best Airlines Rankings!"
Truth! And a sad commentary on the state of flying in the U.S. Qatar Airways took first place with Singapore Airlines in second.

"Crocodile Snaps Drone Out of Mid-Air!"
Truth! A crocodile leaped out of the water and sank its teeth into a low-flying drone at a wildlife park in Darwin, Australia.


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