Friday, May 12, 2017

ON THIS DAY

On this date back in 1621, Edward Winslow married Susanna White in the first wedding among the new colonists in America. However, both were injured when leaving the ceremony. Since there was no rice, guests were forced to throw ears of corn.

In 1870, Manitoba became a Canadian province.
  • I'm completely surprised there hasn't been a drive to rename it Person-itoba. 
  • Of course, in an effort to be more politically correct, it's now called "Person-atoba." 
  • Up until that time, most people thought it was a sea creature. 
  • Up until that time, the big question in Canada was, "What's a Manitoba?" 

On this date in 1896, New York City made a law that made it illegal to spit on the city sidewalks. It didn't do much to stop people, but the good news, most of it gets peed away.

In 1978, the commerce department announced that hurricanes would no longer be named only after women. Finally, equality for men. Yeah, I was highly offended by... oh, who am I kidding? WHO CARES! Just give them appropriate names like Monstro and Demon... it's just not right to lose your home to a hurricane named Buffy.

On this date in 1984, the World's Fair opened in New Orleans.
  • Eventually, it actually went bankrupt. See, it really did represent the world. 
  • One of the biggest attractions was "It's a broke world after all." 
  • It showed the future better than any other World's Fair. 
  • Notice we don't have World's Fairs anymore. If you want to connect with a country, now you just friend them on Facebook. 




TODAY IS

We missed a "Friday the 13th" by just one day. Mother's Day is Sunday -- you remembered, right?

Actress Amy Wheaton celebrates her 39th birthday today. I checked -- Wheaton does not come in gluten-free.

Forbes March turns 44 today. He played Scott on the now defunct "All My Children."

Kim Fields turns 48 today. In her younger days, she was on "The Facts of Life," playing the role of Tootie. Actually, she's tootie these days, too... but it's no longer a character. Skateboard master Tony Hawk turns 49 today. At what age are you too old to ride a skateboard? Is there a mandatory retirement age?

Emilio Estevez turns 55 today. Who? Oh, Charlie Sheen's brother. Yeah, he's basically Charlie Sheen without all that messy success.

Kix Brooks, half of Brooks and Dunn who are no longer together so we're back to just him, turns 62 today. Billy Squier turns 67, Steve Winwood, 69. We figured we'd do two old rockers at the same time, doubling our odds at least one of them will hear us.

The legendary Burt Bacharach turns 89 today. He can still write songs, but when it comes to orchestras, he just doesn't know how to conduct himself.

Today is Limerick Day! -- Needless to say, not a very big deal in Nantucket. To begin, a limerick is a funny little poem containing five lines. It has a very distinctive rhythm and rhyme pattern. Rhyme Pattern: The last words of the first, second, and fifth lines all rhyme with each other. If you'd like to write your own, here are a couple of templates to get you started:

Template A:

There once was a _____ from _____.
All the while s/he was hoping _____.
So s/he _____.
And _____.
That _____ from _____.

Template B:

I once knew a _____ from _____.
On most days s/he _____.
But whenever s/he _____.
The _____.
That unusual _____ from _____.



Okay, now let me try this thing:

There once was a Hilton named Paris,
Her actions would quite often scare us.
When guys went to her place,
They'd get way past first base
And would leave feeling like Roger Maris.

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