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Tuesday, May 16, 2017


Let Them Eat Cake - Oh Wait, This is Jet Blue

What the hell's wrong with airlines these days? Cameron and Minta Burke and their two kids were all set to take off from New Jersey, heading for Vegas to celebrate Minta's big 40th birthday! They had booked their flight on Jet Blue and took a birthday cake along as part of their carry-on luggage. At first the cake was placed in an overhead bin until a flight attendant asked them to move it to a different compartment. Then she came back and decided it belonged under their seats. Cameron says then a second flight attendant showed up and began berating the first flight attendant, and then turned her anger to him. Cameron says at one point in the exchange he asked, "Miss, have you been drinking?" because he thought her behavior was irrational. She then stormed off. Next thing you know the Burkes were asked to leave the flight. When they refused police officers from JFK Airport boarded to investigate, which can be seen in a video recorded by the family. One officer can be heard telling the family that nobody did anything wrong. JetBlue then asked all passengers to leave the plane in order to remove the family. Jet Blue's version is the family refused to move the cake, and "became agitated, cursed and yelled at the crew, and made false accusations about a crew member's fitness to fly." The Burkes, who ironically managed to book a flight via United the next day, plan to file a lawsuit. (ABC News)

Hope You Don't Get Avocado Hands

If you didn't know, avocados are all the rage these days and unfortunately that comes with some painful realities. Emergency room doctors are reporting a sharp increase in the number of amateur chefs winding up with serious "stab and slash" injuries as they attempt to cut through the soft flesh and remove the hard pit. Docs have even dubbed the injury "avocado hand." Freya Watson, a TV producer in London said, "I had to go to the [ER] and get three stitches and I have lost most of the sensation in my finger." One doctor said he sees as many as four patients a week with avocado hand. So if you're unskilled yourself, maybe watch a few tutorials before attempting to dissect your avocado. (Times of London)

You'll Never Guess What's the Fastest Growing Baby Name

The most popular baby names every year are usually only debatable in whether Emma or Sophia will No. 1. But last year has kind of a fun fact among the fastest growing names: For boys, it's Kylo, presumably after Star Wars villain Kylo Ren, which shot up from No. 3,269 in 2015 to No. 901 in 2016. Americans are apparently also borrowing heavily from current pop culture as other fast growing names for boys included Adonis, Benicio, Creed, Fox, and Zayn. On the girl's side, rising popular names include Kehlani, Saoirse, Reign and Maren. As for the most popular: Noah, Liam, William, Mason, and James are the top five for the boys while Emma, Olivia, Ava, Sophia, and Isabella win it for the girls. (AV Club)

Jesus Had the Good Sense to Not Walk on Crocodile Invested Water

If Jesus did walk on water, it would appear he had the good sense not to do it on crocodile infested areas. Not so for Nigerian pastor Jonathan Mthethwa who was trying to show his congregation how Jesus walked on water by crossing what is locally known as Crocodile River on foot. Unfortunately, during the demonstration, he was promptly killed and eaten by three crocodiles in front of everyone. The pastor, from the Satin of the Last Days church, managed to get around 90-feet into the river before disaster struck. Eyewitness Deacon Nkosi told local reporters, "He promised he would demonstrate his faith to us today, but he unfortunately ended up drowning and getting eaten by three large crocodiles in front of us. We still don't understand how this happened because he fasted and prayed the whole week. They finished him in a couple of minutes." Reportedly all that was left of Pastor Mthethwa was a pair of sandals and his underwear floating above the water. (Metro)

Pajama Thief - Wearing, Not Stealing

I don't know about you but in my humble opinion, the criminal element of society is getting just a little too casual for my taste. Police in Phoenix say a man wearing pajama pants robbed a local Circle K convenience store around 4:30 in the morning. The suspect allegedly selected an item and then went to the counter where he demanded all the money from the cash register before taking off in a tan or gold Acura TL. Police describe the suspect as a 20-year-old Hispanic man, 5'9", 140 lbs. At the time of the robbery he was wearing red pajama pants along with a gray Air Jordan Hat, a white long-sleeved shirt and black and white shoes. (AZ Family)

Trump's Lawyer Has Proud Father-Daughter Moment

President Trump's longtime lawyer, Michael Cohen, has been firing back at haters on social media who are calling him out for tweeting a picture Sunday night of his very own daughter wearing lingerie. Cohen tweeted: "So proud of my Ivy League daughter... brains and beauty channeling her Edie Sedgwick," plugging his daughter Samantha's Instagram profile that shows her in a black lace bra and stockings. One user posted: "Most fathers don't post lingerie shots of their daughters. I guess #Trump must be rubbing off on you." Another wrote: "Yep, she's gorgeous, however most fathers don't share lingerie pics of their daughters on social media Mr Creepypants." Cohen responded personally, and rather angrily, to many of the "haters." We'll let you read his responses for yourself as we try to keep the show family friendly. (New York Post)

Please! For the Love of God - No More Da Vinci Code!

Oxfam is a charity bookshop in Swansea, UK and has made an urgent request to the public - please top donating copies of the Da Vinci Code! Apparently they've received multiple copies on a weekly basis for months and are now, frankly, are up to their eyeballs in the Da Vinci Code. Shop manager Phil Broadhurst said, "It's funny because with the Dan Brown sign people laugh and take a picture. We normally don't leave the displays up that long but have with this. I would say that we get one copy of the book every day. The Da Vinci Code became a worldwide hit after its release in 2003, and has so far sold around 80 million copies. The shop hit a similar problem last year with secondhand copies of Fifty Shades of Grey-forcing it to tell donors: "Please-no more." (Metro)

What the What?

Remember Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker? She died of cancer years ago but Jim is apparently back on TV selling survivalist food and gear to doomsday preppers on his "Jim Bakker Show." He's also still preaching "the word" - or at least his version of it - and recently said people who dare to mock President Trump are channeling the "spirit of the Antichrist!" In a recent clip posted online, Bakker claimed there was a "hatred among peoples and this is satanic." He goes on to say, "This is the White Horse of the Apocalypse. The White Horse of the Apocalypse is the first horse. It's a horse of speech. It's a horse of spirit. And the spirit of Antichrist is out now. This is what you're seeing." If you're a little too young to remember, Bakker and his then wife, Tammy Faye, had a popular

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