Tuesday, October 31, 2017

ON THIS DAY

On this date in 1517, a Catholic priest named Martin Luther nailed 95 theses on the church door, which began the Protestant Reformation. So, today is the 500th Anniversary.
  • To be clear, I said theses. 
  • It was not only the beginning of the Reformation, but day one of the no-nailing-things-on-the-church-door policy. 
  • The church tried to settle out of court and move a few priests around, but no... 
  • Since this began the reformation and resulted in the Lutheran church, I'm going to assume that 'theses" is Latin for "Casserole recipes." 
  • It was a much more mature gesture than his first -- the 95 feces. 
On this date in 1864, Nevada became our 36th U.S. state. What were the odds? I'm sure they knew. It was a gamble, but with Nevada, isn't it always?

In 1952, the U.S. set off the first hydrogen bomb in the Marshall Islands. At first, they denied it and blamed the dog.

On this date in 1956, streetcar services ended in Brooklyn. Up until that time, Rice-Aroni was the "Fugget About It Treat."

Also on this date in 1956, an American landed a plane at the South Pole for the very first time, in one of the worst time-share swaps in recorded history.

In 1959, former U.S. Marine Lee Harvey Oswald, announced in Moscow that he would never return to United States. If only he had kept his word.

On this date in 1982, Pope John Paul II became the first pontiff to visit Spain. Before then, all the Popes had never been to Spain, but kind of liked the music. It rained while he was there, but the rain fell mainly on the plain.

TODAY IS

Today is Halloween, the scariest day of the year outside of Election Day.

Will and Jada's daughter, Willow, turns 17 today. Full name: Willow Camille Reign Smith.

Vanilla Ice -- aka Robert Van Winkle -- hits the big 5-0 today. Happy birthday, Ice, Ice, baby.
  • Isn't it about time he went back to just plain old Robert Van Winkle? 
  • He'll celebrate with a cake, topped with lots of icing-icing, baby. 
  • I don't know which not to believe -- that he's a rapper or that he's 50. 
King Ad-Rock of the Beastie Boys is 51. By that age, shouldn't they at least be Beastie Men?

Rob Schneider turns 54 today. He started on SNL and then went on... well, let's just say he went on. As a personal favor, we won't mention any of his movies.

Director Peter Jackson turns 56 today.
  • Although directing all three "Lord of the Rings" movies make him feel like 90. 
  • He has a way of making movies that are Hobbit forming. 
  • He plans a quiet night at home, just playing Dungeons and Dragons -- the solitaire edition. 
Xavier Roberts, the father of "The Cabbage Patch" kids, turns 62 today. We never did know who the mother was... probably, by choice.

Nick Saban, the coach of Alabama, turns 66 today. I wonder how many people will trick or treat at his house dressed up like Georgia players?

Jane Pauley turns 67 today. She used to host the "Today Show." Seems like Yesterday. No, wait, that was a different show.

Dan Rather turns 86 today. He plans a quiet evening at home with Kenneth. (You'll have to look that one up.) He plans to go "trick or treating" as a newscaster.

All Hallows Eve -- Wonder what your neighbors will be passing out this Halloween? Hershey Foods did a telephone survey to find out everything you ever wondered about the spookiest holiday of the year. Typically, 73% of American households will hand out chocolate, followed by lollipops, hard candy, bubble gum and gummy candy. Plus:
  • 86% will participate in Halloween festivities 
  • 81% of parents will take their kids trick-or-treating in their neighborhoods 
  • 46% of all homes will carve a pumpkin 
  • 44% will decorate their homes 
  • 25% of adults will dress up in a costume 
  • 21% will visit a haunted attraction 
  • 20% will attend a Halloween party 
  • 16% will visit a mall for trick-or-treating 
Additionally, 75% of Americans will buy candy treats for Halloween, but only 68% will actually give them to the kids.

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