REASONS IT'S GREAT TO BE A WOMAN

• When a ship sinks, women (and children) get off first.

• A woman can hug her best friend without worrying she'll think she's gay.

• Women can talk to attractive members of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

• If a woman cheats on her spouse everyone will assume it's because she was being emotionally neglected.

• Women live longer than men.

• If a woman inexplicably disappears for two weeks, one of her friends will notice.

• There are times when a woman can make all her problems disappear with a piece of chocolate.

• A woman can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

• A woman can take a drive without trying to beat her best time.

• If a woman forgets to shave, no-one has to know.

• Women are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex or football.

• Women never lust after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

• Women can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

• Women can cry and get off a speeding ticket.

• A woman can congratulate her team-mate without ever touching her rear.

• If a woman says something stupid, most men will just think she's cute.

• If a woman cries, she's sensitive; if a man cries, he's a wimp.

• Women know who their children are without having a DNA test.

• Women can watch one TV channel at a time without getting bored.

• A woman won't drive to Hell and back before she asks for directions.