TOP FIVE THINGS YOU CAN TRY TO BLAME ON A POLTERGEIST

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  1. That ghostly-sounding fart a moment ago (all you can do is try)
  2. Anything Donald Trump says
  3. The underwear on the floor. I swear I put it in the hamper!
  4. The presidential election
  5. The dirty dishes in the sink -- when I left this morning, I'd swear they were clean!

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