ON THIS DAY

On this date in 1430, Joan of Arc was captured by the Burgundians, who sold her to the English for cash and a Saint to be named later.

• They made her the subject of a roast. 
• First question they asked was, "How do you like your stake?" 
• Yes, she was captured by the Burgundians, who later sold her to the English for cash and two future draft picks, plus a Saint to be named later. 

In 1701, Captain William Kidd was hanged in London after he was convicted of piracy and murder.
Well, and jaywalking, but they just threw that in.

• The government wanted to demonstrate the law: control your Kidds. 
• Yes, Kidd was hung for being a pirate and impersonating Johnny Depp. His final words were, "Who the heck is Johnny?" 
• He was also the inspiration for the "No Kidding" rules. 

On this date in 1785, Ben Franklin wrote a letter, claiming to have invented bifocals. The letter was blurry on the top, but clear on the bottom.

In 1873, Canada created "The Mounties!" Their motto was, "they always get their man." I'm sure that's been changed to "person" to make it PC. Or not.

On this date in 1922, a debate was broadcast on the radio for the first time. The topic: whether debates should be broadcast on the radio.

In 1934, bank robbers Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow died of lead poisoning.

It was on this date in 1984 that the surgeon general first brought second-hand smoke to our attention. A much more affordable solution to those who couldn't afford first-hand smoke.

TODAY IS

Memorial Day weekend is almost here! It has seemed like an incredibly long month already?

Jewel turns 44 today. She's a gem. She's not as popular as she once was, so I guess you could say she's been downgraded to semi-precious.

• We could be nice and say "Jewel is now 4.3 carats." 
• I wonder if her sister was named Ruby? 
• She's a gem. I always felt if she had kids, she should name them Ruby and Opal. 
• Wonder if she would accept, "You know, I was going to buy you precious stones for your birthday, but with a name like that it seemed redundant!" 

Melissa McBride turns 53 today. You know her best as Carol on "The Walking Dead." One of the original cast members to have survived 8 seasons so far.

Drew Carey turns the big 6-0 today, despite the odds. He's part-owner of the Seattle Sounders soccer club. Not sure which part. Apparently, the price was right.

Joan Collins turns 85 today. She's probably celebrating out there with her great grand-boyfriend.

Lucky Penny Day -- See a penny, pick it up. Jessica Simpson (remember her) says she can't pass up a lucky penny that may be on the ground and collects all she can.