ON THIS DAY
On this date in 1798, Napoleon captured Alexandria... which, of course, told him, "You can call me Al."
In 1829, William Austin Burt of Mt. Vernon, MI, received a patent for an invention called the "typographer," the forerunner of the typewriter.
On this date in 1885, Ulysses S. Grant, the 18th U.S. president, died at the age of 63. He had asked to be cremated, but as much as he drank, they were afraid the fire wouldn't go out for months!
In 1886, New York saloonkeeper Steve Brodie jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge on a dare. Just try and convince me that alcohol wasn't involved.
It's said that the very first ice cream cone was served on this date in 1904 in St. Louis. The newspapers were there to get the scoop. Seems like enough of a reason to celebrate to me.
On this date in 1984, Vanessa Williams became the first Miss America to resign her title, because of nude photographs published in Penthouse Magazine. I was highly offended and could barely look at pages 38, 39 and the lower right corner of 53. Did she deserve to have to give up her crown? Let's review those photos one more time.
In 1986, Britain's Prince Andrew marries Sarah Ferguson at Westminster Abbey in London. It was another one of those doomed-royal marriages of the 80s, this one ending in a toe-sucking scandal. See, who said history has to be boring?
On this date in 1998, scientists announced they had been able to clone 50 mice. Suddenly, our country's mouse shortage was over.
TODAY IS
Daniel Radcliffe turns 29 today.
I think it's about time we changed how we refer him to "the guy who played Harold Potter."
I think he only had to make it to 29 and then they can do plastic surgery to remove that lightning bolt from his forehead.
Hopefully, someday, that case of Hogwarts will clear up.
It's Monica Lewinsky's 45th birthday today. Being a family show, we're stopping there. I know no matter how I phrased it, the line "blowing out the candles" is gonna get me in trouble.
Slash from Guns N' Roses turns 53 today.
Woody Harrelson turns 57 today. Cheers! Talk about a wide-ranging career: from the young bartender on "Cheers," to killing zombies, to "True Detective" to co-starring in "Solo." All in a day's work, huh?
In 1829, William Austin Burt of Mt. Vernon, MI, received a patent for an invention called the "typographer," the forerunner of the typewriter.
- Needless to say, the makers of White Out were really excited.
- Ironically, he lived at the corner of Hunt & Peck.
- It allowed people to write "typo's" faster than ever before.
- That was back in the days when they texted on paper.
On this date in 1885, Ulysses S. Grant, the 18th U.S. president, died at the age of 63. He had asked to be cremated, but as much as he drank, they were afraid the fire wouldn't go out for months!
In 1886, New York saloonkeeper Steve Brodie jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge on a dare. Just try and convince me that alcohol wasn't involved.
It's said that the very first ice cream cone was served on this date in 1904 in St. Louis. The newspapers were there to get the scoop. Seems like enough of a reason to celebrate to me.
On this date in 1984, Vanessa Williams became the first Miss America to resign her title, because of nude photographs published in Penthouse Magazine. I was highly offended and could barely look at pages 38, 39 and the lower right corner of 53. Did she deserve to have to give up her crown? Let's review those photos one more time.
In 1986, Britain's Prince Andrew marries Sarah Ferguson at Westminster Abbey in London. It was another one of those doomed-royal marriages of the 80s, this one ending in a toe-sucking scandal. See, who said history has to be boring?
On this date in 1998, scientists announced they had been able to clone 50 mice. Suddenly, our country's mouse shortage was over.
TODAY IS
Daniel Radcliffe turns 29 today.
I think it's about time we changed how we refer him to "the guy who played Harold Potter."
I think he only had to make it to 29 and then they can do plastic surgery to remove that lightning bolt from his forehead.
Hopefully, someday, that case of Hogwarts will clear up.
It's Monica Lewinsky's 45th birthday today. Being a family show, we're stopping there. I know no matter how I phrased it, the line "blowing out the candles" is gonna get me in trouble.
Slash from Guns N' Roses turns 53 today.
- I wonder if Slash is short for something more formal and proper like, oh, Slashathy or Slashiver.
- I always wanted him to form a duet with a former vice-president and call themselves "Slash and Gore"... if nothing else, just so I could quit telling this joke!
- He's so good, they named a burn after him.
Woody Harrelson turns 57 today. Cheers! Talk about a wide-ranging career: from the young bartender on "Cheers," to killing zombies, to "True Detective" to co-starring in "Solo." All in a day's work, huh?
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