ON THIS DAY
It was on this date in 1492 that Christopher Columbus first landed in "the New World." He landed at a place he named "El Salvador." For those who don't know, that's Spanish for THE Salvador.
Little known fact: The first thing he said to his men was, "Does anyone know something that rhymes with 'ocean blue'?"
When his three ships arrived... only to find the banks closed.
Yes, this is the actual date in 1492 that Christopher Columbus landed in America and ruined everything.
Yes, kids, that's where Indigenous People's Day all began...
On this date in 1681, a London woman was publicly flogged for involving herself in politics.
Now they just do it when they run for office.
Back then, it was much tougher for "Saturday Night Live" actors to impersonate politicians.
Afterwards, she went on a tour blaming Ezekiel Trump.
See, there were things more painful to watch than a Republican debate.
In 1871, President Grant ordered the largest-ever roundup of KKK members. Unfortunately, there was a huge typo and the people actually arrested were AAA members.
On this date in 1892, the original version of the Pledge of Allegiance was first recited in public schools to celebrate the 400th anniversary of Columbus' landing. Of course, since then, schools no longer recite it, the phrase "under God" is under fire and Columbus Day is now "Indigenous Peoples' Day." Otherwise, things are still the same.
In 1969, Soyuz 7 was launched. It was either a spaceship or vodka, one of the two.
On this date in 1972, the American satellite "Mariner IX" took pictures of the Martian north pole. I'm just imagining a space toy shop with a green Santa Claus.
TODAY IS
Today is the actual Columbus Day, but the government moved it to the nearest Monday so we could distance ourselves from it as part of a 3-day weekend. And not get mail.
Former "Growing Pains" heartthrob Kirk Cameron turns 47 today. Now, if his heart throbs, he needs to check in with his doctor. These days, he's more known for those rapture movies, called "Left Behind"... much like his career. He starred in the "Left Behind" movies about the rapture. Not rapper. Rapture. No, not raptor, Rapture. Rap, sure. Never mind.
Hugh Jackman turns 49 today, one of the few Wolverines never to go to the University of Michigan. He's the most famous Wolverine ever to not play football. Instead of blowing out the candles on his cake, he just uses those blade things in his hands and slices off the ends! I always get him confused with Huge Ackman.
Adam Rich, the cute little kid from "Eight is Enough" turns 49. He's no longer cute or little and "eight" is now bedtime.
Carlos Bernard, who played Tony on "24" turns 55 today. Or, is it that the guy who played Carlos on "55" turns 24? Uh, let me get back to you on that one...
International Moment Of Frustration Day -- A day to share any or all of our frustrations, as all citizens of the world should go outdoors and scream
Little known fact: The first thing he said to his men was, "Does anyone know something that rhymes with 'ocean blue'?"
When his three ships arrived... only to find the banks closed.
Yes, this is the actual date in 1492 that Christopher Columbus landed in America and ruined everything.
Yes, kids, that's where Indigenous People's Day all began...
On this date in 1681, a London woman was publicly flogged for involving herself in politics.
Now they just do it when they run for office.
Back then, it was much tougher for "Saturday Night Live" actors to impersonate politicians.
Afterwards, she went on a tour blaming Ezekiel Trump.
See, there were things more painful to watch than a Republican debate.
In 1871, President Grant ordered the largest-ever roundup of KKK members. Unfortunately, there was a huge typo and the people actually arrested were AAA members.
On this date in 1892, the original version of the Pledge of Allegiance was first recited in public schools to celebrate the 400th anniversary of Columbus' landing. Of course, since then, schools no longer recite it, the phrase "under God" is under fire and Columbus Day is now "Indigenous Peoples' Day." Otherwise, things are still the same.
In 1969, Soyuz 7 was launched. It was either a spaceship or vodka, one of the two.
On this date in 1972, the American satellite "Mariner IX" took pictures of the Martian north pole. I'm just imagining a space toy shop with a green Santa Claus.
TODAY IS
Today is the actual Columbus Day, but the government moved it to the nearest Monday so we could distance ourselves from it as part of a 3-day weekend. And not get mail.
Former "Growing Pains" heartthrob Kirk Cameron turns 47 today. Now, if his heart throbs, he needs to check in with his doctor. These days, he's more known for those rapture movies, called "Left Behind"... much like his career. He starred in the "Left Behind" movies about the rapture. Not rapper. Rapture. No, not raptor, Rapture. Rap, sure. Never mind.
Hugh Jackman turns 49 today, one of the few Wolverines never to go to the University of Michigan. He's the most famous Wolverine ever to not play football. Instead of blowing out the candles on his cake, he just uses those blade things in his hands and slices off the ends! I always get him confused with Huge Ackman.
Adam Rich, the cute little kid from "Eight is Enough" turns 49. He's no longer cute or little and "eight" is now bedtime.
Carlos Bernard, who played Tony on "24" turns 55 today. Or, is it that the guy who played Carlos on "55" turns 24? Uh, let me get back to you on that one...
International Moment Of Frustration Day -- A day to share any or all of our frustrations, as all citizens of the world should go outdoors and scream
Comments
Post a Comment