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Tuesday, October 3, 2017


Stupidity's Finest Hour

A 56-year-old idiot in the German town of Gross Godems is being treated for serious burns after accidentally setting his apartment ablaze when he confused a bottle of gasoline with alcohol. Apparently our friend grabbed the wrong bottle, took a big swig of gasoline and then immediately spit it out when he realized his mistake. Problem was he was smoking at the time and when the gas hit his lit cigarette -- well you can figure out the rest. (Ananova)

Chicken Survives Two Days in the Freezer

In Chengdu City, China, Mr. Gan Shugen got shock of his life upon discovering a chicken he placed in the freezer for two days came out alive and clucking! He got the hen, which was wrapped in a thick plastic bag with its legs bound, as a gift from a relative. Assuming it was dead, he threw it in the freezer. Two days later, Gan was shocked when the hen popped its head out. Gan said, "It was still warm, and when I removed the tape, she could stand." Gan also noted that the bag contained some frozen chicken poop. To prove his claim, Gan again put the chicken into the freezer for another 20 minutes for a television crew to film. He then vowed never to eat the chicken saying he will set it free instead. (AHN News)

Jesus is Watching 

In Utah, two men went into Smith's grocery store hoping to buy some beer. However, the store clerk refused the sale as it was after 1:00am -- the limit for beer sales in the county. The suspects then asked the clerk if they could steal the beer instead, to which she replied, "Yes, but Jesus is watching." Upon hearing this, the two men brandished a gun and took off with the beer - but left $9.00 behind to pay for it. If caught, the men will be charged with armed robbery. (Salt Lake City Tribune)

Stone Cold Wedding Vows

A British couple braved temperatures of minus 12-degrees Celsius to get married in an igloo on the edge of the Arctic Circle. Chris McQuade and Louise O'Mara then celebrated with a drink in a bar made completely of ice. 17 family members were on hand as they tied the knot in Rovaniemi, Finland. 24-year-old Chris, a plumber, said, "It was pitch black when we came out. We rode back to the hotel on a sleigh." The couple then spent three days in the snow riding snow mobiles and enjoying plenty of snowball fights. The groom added, "Everyone gets married somewhere hot, so we just wanted somewhere different." (Ananova)

Stop Clowning Around With Your Kids!

Hey stop clowning around with your kids - literally! A study by the University of Sheffield in England says small children and even older kids don't like clowns and are scared of them. The study of more than 250 children, aged four to 16, found clown images were widely disliked. It suggests that decorating children's rooms and hospital wards with paintings of clowns to create a nurturing atmosphere could backfire. Researcher Dr. Penny Curtis said, "As adults we make assumptions about what works for children. We found that clowns are universally disliked by children. Some found them quite frightening." Or should we call you Dr. Pennywise Curtis? (Ananova)

Freedom of Religion

A group of Russians in the city of Nizhny Novgorod are certainly enjoying their freedom of religion. They have taken to worshipping none other than President Vladimir Putin, claiming he is the incarnation of the Apostle Paul and King Solomon. One devotee was quoted as saying, "We didn't choose Putin. God himself has chosen him!" (Russian News and Information Agency)

The Dracula Bus Bust!

Officials in Dracula's home of Transylvania have some explaining to do! They spent $400,000 of taxpayer money on a big luxury bus designed for Dracula sightseeing tours. Only problem is-- they then found out it's too big to get through the city gates! Entry to the old Center of Brasov -- home to Dracula's Castle-- is through 10-foot high medieval gates. The double-decker bus is considerably higher. One Brasov city councilman said, "Unbelievably nobody ever thought to measure the gates and compare it with the height of the bus. It's a complete waste of money. We have no idea what to do now." (Sky News)

76 Is the Magic Number

Ever wonder exactly how many tickets you can get for an expired car registration until they finally haul you off to jail? It seems the magic number is 76. 31-year-old Valerie Ortiz Sanchez was indeed arrested and taken to jail in Texas after getter her 76th expired registration ticket which totaled nearly $19,000 in unpaid fines. Turns out she also had no automobile insurance and was driving with an expired license. Her license had also been suspended after being charged with DUI. (Valley Morning Star)

$30 Bucks Not Enough For Kids to Sell Out

Students at one Maryland High School apparently can't be bought - at least not for $30 bucks! That was the reward offered by the school for anyone who came forward with information on who started the big cafeteria food fight. The principal later withdrew the offer after students questioned the propriety of paying students to snitch about something so minor. Cash rewards have been offered in the past for information leading to those responsible for vandalism, graffiti or theft but now the practice is being reconsidered. (AHN News)

What the What?

You may soon better understand your dog. Hungarian scientists have been working on a computer program to enable people to understand dog barks. They claim the software works out the nuances of a dog's barks, howls, yaps and growls. After analyzing 6,000 dog barks, they say they can tell when a dog has seen a ball, when it is fighting, playing, meeting a stranger or when it wants a walk. But alas, all this technology just barely out-performs humans. While the computer correctly recognized the emotional state of 43% of dogs, humans did almost as well with 40% getting the right answer. (Sky News)

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