MAKE ANYTHING VANISH
Your Beer Gut
An essential tool of any magician is misdirection. The key is making the distraction engaging. In one study, people who were asked to watch for specific things in a video failed to notice a man in a gorilla suit walking through the shot. If you don't want your gut noticed, give people something more interesting to focus on. Or try exercising. Maybe you need some misdirection from those nachos.
What was I thinking with that mullet? Don't be defined by your regrets. If you dwell on the past, so will everyone else. Concentrate on what's next. What are you doing every day to challenge and redefine yourself? It's another form of misdirection. I don't have to do magic shows anymore. But I love pushing the art in new directions, reinventing myself, surprising people, defying expectations.
Lipstick on a Collar
You really need a magician for this one? Throw it in the washer or buy a new shirt. Why is she kissing your shirt anyway? Maybe it's time to talk to her about her aim. Unless, of course, we're talking about lipstick belonging to a woman who isn't your significant other. In which case, Romeo, it's not the lipstick that needs to disappear it's your sense of entitlement.
Yourself, from a Party
Ah, the Irish Goodbye. Or where I'm from, the New Jersey Goodbye sliding from a party without excuses and apologies. When I'm incognito, I'm not wearing a disguise or dark glasses. It's about posture. If you change how you move timid in your pacing, reserved in your posture, less confident in everything it's like you're invisible. You can walk out the front door and nobody will notice.
Credit Card Debt
Cut up those cards and pay them down. Then just make better choices with your money. Spending money is fine. But invest in yourself, in the things you truly love. I have a resort in the Bahamas called Musha Cay, and I invested in a museum of magic. I had a chance to invest in Uber, which wouldn't have been smart. But instead I bought Houdini's pool table. I have no regrets.
Your Internet History
Oh, forget about this one. Things in cyberspace have the staying power of Stonehenge. The only cure for this is to walk into a burning building, leave your wallet, and then make a quick escape and find a guy who can give you a new identity. Start your life over from scratch. And then stay the hell off Facebook. Or at least stop posting pictures of yourself doing stupid stuff.