FORGIVENESS IS MORE THAN BEING SORRY
(Woman's Day) Let go of hurt, feelings with these steps from Nicholas H. Ney, Ph.D., a California based psychologist who specializes in forgiveness education:
Reflect
Consider how past relationships may influence how you react to a slight. Ask yourself; "Can I view this offense less personally?" If you can pinpoint the source of old pain, you stand a better chance of healing current misunderstandings.
Chance your mindset
If you can't seem to shake feelings of resentment toward a person who has hurt you, try to focus on something kind he or she has done for you, Ney suggest. "This may help you regulate your emotional thermostat and move away from negative feelings."
Don't expect an apology
Forgiveness shouldn't depend on another person's words or actions, and it "doesn't mean you're forgetting something painful or excusing poor behavior," says Ney. "It's more about deciding to make peace with what happened."
Reflect
Consider how past relationships may influence how you react to a slight. Ask yourself; "Can I view this offense less personally?" If you can pinpoint the source of old pain, you stand a better chance of healing current misunderstandings.
Chance your mindset
If you can't seem to shake feelings of resentment toward a person who has hurt you, try to focus on something kind he or she has done for you, Ney suggest. "This may help you regulate your emotional thermostat and move away from negative feelings."
Don't expect an apology
Forgiveness shouldn't depend on another person's words or actions, and it "doesn't mean you're forgetting something painful or excusing poor behavior," says Ney. "It's more about deciding to make peace with what happened."
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