Can Our Government Get Any Crazier? Uh-oh!

The Miami Herald is endorsing an interesting candidate for the House of Representatives. Normally such an endorsement wouldn't make headlines, but this one is different - because they're backing Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera for the 27th District - who not only believes aliens have been to earth, she believes she was abducted by them. The editors write: "We realize that Rodriguez Aguilera is an unusual candidate," however, the newspaper agrees with Rodriguez Aguilera that this is a "non-issue" and irrelevant to the race. For the record, last year she told the Miami Herald-and several Spanish-language media outlets-that when she was 7, she was taken aboard a spaceship and, throughout her life, she has communicated telepathically with the beings, which remind her of the concrete Christ in Brazil. But rather than focus on that big ball of crazy, the paper praises her political and business background, along with her "Working Class Agenda." One final footnote regarding the alien thing: Rodriguez Aguilera says she learned from the aliens that Coral Castle, a limestone tourist attraction in South Miami-Dade, is, in fact, an ancient pyramid. (Miami Herald)

Okay It Was Only a Biscuit... But He Threw It Really Hard!

Meanwhile in Tennessee, 45-year-old Jeffrey Tomerlin flew into a rage after spotting his former girlfriend with her new boyfriend in a car in South Nashville. He reportedly charged at the vehicle and began punching the hood of the car and telling the couple he would kill them. He also yelled racial slurs, according to the report. At some point he apparently threw a biscuit "really hard" at his ex's face, according to the police report, but the extent of her injuries were unknown. After police took Tomerlin into custody, he continued to bang his head while sitting inside the police cruiser. He was taken to the hospital before being booked into jail on charges including public intoxication, vandalism and assault. (WKRN)

PETA's Got a Problem With Animal Crackers

Nabisco's iconic Animal Crackers are going cage-free thanks to Peta. The company has removed any depiction of cages on its boxes of Barnum's Animals snacks, after PETA complained to parent company Mondelez International in 2016 that circus animals are often mistreated. A Mondelez spokesman said, "When PETA reached out about Barnum's, we saw this as another great opportunity to continue to keep this brand modern." And PETA approves. "The new box ... perfectly reflects that our society no longer tolerates the caging and chaining of wild animals for circus shows," says the group's executive VP. While Mondelez worked over the past two years to revamp its packaging, the namesake circus the crackers were based on, Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey, closed down due to lagging ticket sales, shuttering its tents for good in May 2017. (CBS News)

It Isn't All It Seems, At Seventeen

In St. Louis, Chandra Payne had made a run to the store to get ice cream for her son's 17th birthday, while he headed out to pick up some Chinese food. But just minutes after they parted, Ms. Payne got a terrible phone call. Her son, Armond Latimore, had been shot outside the very Chinese restaurant where he'd gone to pick up dinner. The teen, who died at a local hospital of his injuries, had just posted on Facebook, about an hour before he was gunned down, a now heart-rending message: "Thru all the bulls--- I den been thru I'm just glad I can say I made it to see 17," adding the hashtag "#MYDAY." It's not clear what specific troubles Armond was referencing in his post, but Payne says that after he was killed, she found a letter in his bedroom that talked about him being bullied; Payne says Armond had never discussed any bullying issues with anyone in their immediate family. Police, who are looking into the shooting, say they don't yet have a suspect. (St. Louis Post-Dispatch)

The Kindness of Strangers

A homeless couple were married under an overpass after spending 30 years together, thanks to the generosity of strangers. Llewellyn Jeneker and Cecilia Absolom's heart-warming union took place in Cape Town, South Africa. They were married by a local pastor in front of more than 100 guests, which included their 12-year-old son Dylan and other homeless people. The entire ceremony was made possible thanks to some help from the city council and a woman called Jill Leftha, who donated the wedding dress for the bride. The bride, Cecilia, who has been reportedly been homeless most of her life, said the dress "stole her heart". Since June, the now-newlyweds have lived in the city council run 'safe space', which provides beds for 230 people. The manager of Safe Space, Wilfred Fredericks, said the couple have expressed the want to live as a family in a place they can call home. (Indy 100)

Damn You Porn!

Claire Dalton cancelled her dream wedding just a week before the big day - after discovering her fiancé watched porn. He had kept the habit a secret throughout their four-year friendship and relationship and she was reportedly shocked that she called off the marriage - despite having spent six months planning it. The 21-year-old is very religious and said she has been dreaming of a relationship which was "true and pure" and "governed by God's law" since she was young girl, in a blog post written for Love What Matters. Just a week before the wedding she and her fiancé were running errands for their big day - and she checked his phone to see if a shop was still open. But when she saw his search bar, she realized he had "been searching for pornography possibly just hours ago", and immediately "felt sick to (her) stomach". At first, her husband-to-be lied and said his brother had borrowed his phone, before finally admitting: "It's me... I have a problem." After hearing him admit the truth, Claire decided to call off the wedding - and had to call every one of her 300 guests to break the news. She explained it wasn't so much the porn which was the problem, but the fact that he'd lied about it for years. (Scottish Sun)

What the What?

They're bright orange, they're cheesy and they're called Peatos. In fact they look just like Cheetos. So much so that the takeoff is unmistakable. That makes Frito-Lay, the folks who make Cheetos, very unhappy. They've sent a cease-and-desist letter to World Peas Brand Peatos. The Cheetos lawyers say Peatos, made of peas and lentils and pitched as a healthier alternative, borrows too much in design from the bigger brand. That includes Peatos' paw-print logo and the slogan "Tigers live longer than cheetahs." Some say Frito-Lay is using their might to squash healthier choice competitors. (Wall Street Journal)


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