On this date in 1513, Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de Leon arrived in Florida in search of the legendary Fountain of Youth.
Or at least a good plastic surgeon.
Or at least a place that sold Rogaine.
He never found it, but it's rumored he did stumble across the mythical Bathtub of Botox.

In 1792, Congress established the U.S. Mint, which contrary to its name, does not offer mints of any kind. Oh, I've checked.

On this date in 1827, lead pencils were made for the very first time.
The idea came to the inventor while going #2, thus the name for the pencils.
The workers immediately began chanting, "We're #2! We're #2!"
It inspired a jealous inventor to create the eraser.
Much to the excitement of the eraser industry, which had nothing to do all these years.
I just wonder who the person was who said, "Hey! Find something poisonous so that we can write with it!"

In 1845, a photo of the sun was taken for the very first time. The photographer was quick to say, "That's my sun!" How? Well, they took them at night, silly! Didn't need a flash.

On this date in 1870, Victoria Woodhull became the first woman to run for President of the United States. She was also the only woman to ever run that didn't wear pantsuits.

In 1872, the gasoline power motor was invented by George Brayton. So when you're looking for someone to blame this weekend when you're mowing your lawn: that's the guy!

On this date in 1877, President Rutherford B. Hayes presided over the very first Easter Egg Roll on the White House lawn. You know, if I ever had to color that many Easter eggs, I'd just dye.

On this date in 1935, Watson Watt received a patent for RADAR, beating out Shocky Shocker and Volt Voltner.

In 1954, plans were unveiled to build a place called Disneyland. They were the happiest plans on earth.


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