FAIR FIGHT
According to University of Utah psychology professor Timothy Smith, Ph.D., who studies the physical effects of marital arguments, regular bickering can lead to coronary disease and depression. Put simply, stress marriages are unhealthy. But you can ward off health problems by improving communication. We asked Robert Mayer, author of "How to Win Any Argument," for techniques to defuse any dispute.
Focus on the present
Don't dredge up old history, says Mayer. "Anytime you look back, it's to criticize." Instead, explore how things can be done differently going forward and stop dwelling on why they weren't done that way before.
Don't dredge up old history, says Mayer. "Anytime you look back, it's to criticize." Instead, explore how things can be done differently going forward and stop dwelling on why they weren't done that way before.
Skip "You always" and "You never"
Avoid point out your husband's faults. "That's a classic error and much more ammunition than you need," says Dr. Smith. Tell him what you like and don't like without dragging his character into it.
Avoid point out your husband's faults. "That's a classic error and much more ammunition than you need," says Dr. Smith. Tell him what you like and don't like without dragging his character into it.
Take a break
Storming off in a huff won't solve anything. Instead, tell your husband: "I'm getting kind of upset. Can we talk about this another time?" A brief break to calm down and get in control isn't a bad idea, as long as it's not seen as license to stop talking together.
Storming off in a huff won't solve anything. Instead, tell your husband: "I'm getting kind of upset. Can we talk about this another time?" A brief break to calm down and get in control isn't a bad idea, as long as it's not seen as license to stop talking together.
Comments
Post a Comment