ON THIS DAY
On this date in 1610, Galileo discovered Callisto, the fourth satellite of Jupiter. Oh, sure, waltz and get credit after three were already discovered.
In 1733, James Oglethorpe and 130 settlers established Savannah, Georgia. Not to be confused with Savannah Guthrie.
On this date in 1794, Congress agreed to add more stars to the U.S. flag. They immediately began a star search.
In 1854, Anthony Foss received a patent for the accordion.
- So, there is someone to blame.
- I know, I know, what were they thinking? It could have been stopped right then and there.
- And to think, it could have all been prevented.
On this date in 1920, a New York Times editorial said that "rockets can never fly."
- Obviously, whoever the editor was at the time, he wasn't a rocket scientist.
- Of course, later the writer updated their prediction and added, "What I meant to say was that Houston rockets will never fly."
- Rocket scientists said that the New York Times would never survive. Now who's laughing?
- Later, they tried to say that they meant the Rockettes were afraid to fly and preferred the train. Whatever.
- They should have stuck with pigs.
In 1972, the New York State Supreme Court ruled that a woman may become a professional umpire. And why not? For years they've never believed a man was safe when he was out.
The YMCA filed a suit against the Village People in 1979 -- Oh, they didn't have a problem with their song; they just wanted them to stay out of their showers.
Ooh... it's Wednesday the 13th!
American Idol off-key phenomenon William Hung turns 33 today. ("She bangs, She bangs...") He used his entire 15-minutes of fame and I believe owes us five.
Orlando Bloom turns 39 today. He was getting pretty cozy with Katy Perry at the Golden Globes on Sunday.
- You should be ashamed of what you're thinking. And that goes to you, too, ladies.
- I can't remember the names of the characters he played in "Lord of the Rings" or "Pirates of the Caribbean."
- All I can remember about him is my wife calling him "Yummy."
Patrick Dempsey turns 50 today. Yeah, I don't know why it's not a holiday, either.
Trace Adkins turns 54. That's the country singer, not the diet doctor.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus celebrates her 55th birthday today. However, she'll always be ageless as the next-door-neighbor of Clark Griswald every Christmas. Wait a minute, I thought she'll forever be "Elaine."
William B. Davis turns 78 today. He was "the Smoking Man" in The X-Files. Yes, he's still around.
It's Day 5 and El Chapo is still in custody.
An autograph expert said that Hillary Clinton's autograph is the most valuable of all the candidates. For instance, a Hillary Clinton-signed hat is worth about $1500 dollars. In comparison, a Bernie Sanders autographed derby is worth only around a hundred bucks.
Starbucks says it's going to open 500 stores a year in China. I'm sure they'll succeed. I wouldn't bet against them for all the coffee in China.
The NFL voted to allow the St. Louis Rams to return to Los Angeles and gave San Diego the option to move there. Oakland was put in the awkward position of telling their prom date that they're going to ask someone else, and that someone else said 'no'.
The NFL says the Rams can move back to L.A.. For you non-football fans, that's like Jennifer Aniston getting back together with Brad Pitt.
Crusty Windbreaker, Desert Radio AZ
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