TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU'RE AT AN UNAUTHORIZED COMIC-CON CONVENTION

1. The biggest name attending is "Ernie -- Janitor Warrior"
2. There are no lines ANYWHERE
3. Special commemorative souvenir cup is paper... and has a crossed-out Starbucks logo
4. Cashier only accepts cash and unmarked bills at that
5. Really? It's being held in a Laundramat?