It's Send a Card to a Friend Day -- Here's some greeting cards you won't see:

Happy Vasectomy. Hope you feel zippy! 'Cause when I got one. It was real snippy.
Heard you had Herpes. And I feel terrible. I'd say "get well soon." But I know it's incurable.
My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tire, I found your cat. Sorry!
You had your bladder removed, here's a bouquet of flowers. And a box of Depends.
Heard your wife left you, how upset you must be! Don't fret about your wife though, she's moving in with me.
You totaled your car, and can't remember why. Maybe it was... that case of Bud Dry.
I'm sorry to hear you are brain dead. It's really not that bad when you think about it.
I heard that you were very sick. I hope that you die painlessly.